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How do i trust someone?
18/f, ive been with this guy for 8 months now. i can't seem to believe in him, or trust him. he tells me that i'm the only one for him and that i have nothing to worry about, but sometimes i feel like its too good to be true. he tells me he doesnt think anyone else is hot or attractive at all. i dont think thats even possible :/ he's a man, and every guy ive ever been with has cheated on me, except him. before him, every guy i had ever dated has cheated on me. I guess that's where this all started, and now whenever he even says hi to a girl i cant help but get upset. I dont know what to do, i've tried everything. any advice? i know i need help, but i just dont know what to do anymore. i know its not right to get this jealous or upset, but i feel like i cant control it anymore.
please help,
Gina
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i'm kinda in the same boat as you. i find it extremely difficult for me to trust anyone. boyfriends, friends, other people.
you just have to accept the fact that trusting is risking your heart to get hurt.
do you want to risk getting your heart broken?
if its yes, give him a chance. tell him how you feel- that you want him to prove to you that you're the only girl. tell him that you're unsure if you can trust him. but also, YOU have to change too. he cant just do all the work. you have to realize that you can't change the past. the past will always be there to haunt you. but you cant dwell on the past either. move on. yes, they cheated on you. but is your current boyfriend the exact same guy as your ex boyfriends?? no. he is a completely different person. so stop dwelling on the past and allow yourself to trust him. take a deep breath whenever he talks to a girl and just remind yourself that if its ok for you to talk to other guys, then its ok for him to talk to other girls. its just "hi".. its not "lets have sex". just relax.
if your answer is no. you don't want to risk getting your heart broken. then i suggest you break up with your bf and just say 'hey i'm not really ready to be in a relationship right now because i am too scared to have my heart broken again and i dont know if i can trust you anymore" then take a break from guys. a long break. not a few weeks.. i'm talking like a few months or even a year(s). get to know yourself again and take a break from guys. then when a new guy comes along, remind yourself that you cant dwell on the past and have to look forward at this new guy.
inbox me if you have more quesitons
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I understand how hard this can be since you were only exposed to cheaters. But you need to keep in mind that not all guys cheat, you just got unlucky. Obviously don't just trust anyone, but if he can PROVE to you that he's only about you, I would give him a chance. Let him know about your past too so he doesn't just think you don't trust him just because.
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