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I'm so sexually unsatisfied and bored, and I am curious about exploring other men
Alright, I met my boyfriend when I was 15 and I'm now a Freshman in college, so we've been together for 3 years.
I love him. He's a great guy, he's been there for me. He's my first kiss, my first love.. I lost my virginity to him.
The problem is our relationship feels like it's going stale. We don't really do anything adventurous and we certainly don't have any exciting anymore. I've tried getting him to talk about his lack of sexual desire and he just brushes it off. I've tried getting him to take me to do new things but he's brushed that off as well. I've tried mentioning that perhaps we shouldn't see each other every single day so we can retain some excitement when we do get together,but that hasn't seemed to go anywhere either.
I'm at a loss. I'm so sexually unsastisfied and bored, I've found myself going on internet chatrooms, imagining a guy doing the things he says he would. Now I've found a guy to talk to but he doesn't know my real name or where I live.. it's exciting but I know I shouldn't do it. The problem is since it's on the internet and the chances of him catching me is slim, I wind up doing it anyway.
I don't want to break up with my boyfriend.. I really care about and love him. But what can I do to either spice up our relationship or discipline myself from trying to explore other men?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
What I would say is that he is afraid to try new things, not that he doesn't want to. Maybe you need to take control, and just do some new things and tell him, that's what I want. Either way, he has the right to know the truth, and doesn't deserve being cheated on. He seems like he really cares about you, and by you going behind his back, you are hurting your relationship and possibly killing it. At the end of the day, do you want a guy who will give you what you want sexually and leave, or try and work with someone who loves you, and try to make things work?
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I'm sure that you do care for your boyfriend a lot but you are no longer in love with him. People do not fantasize about or seek out other men when they're in love. You should be honest with him and end the relationship. If you really want to play out more sexual roles, you should try dating someone a little older and more experienced. They won't laugh or shun you for wanting to try new things and may be able to show you a few new tricks. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask. Hope this helps and good luck.
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Explore other THINGS.
You aren't just sexually unsatisfied - you are generally unsatisfied. Stop whining about 'We should do other stuff' and expecting him to magically change. Make other plans yourself. Go out with girlfriends. Take a class. Join a club. Buy a book. Audition for a play. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Go do something.
You aren't actually taking care of yourself or trying to find the things you want - you are just seeking escape online. Escape is easy. Satisfaction is tough. Escape is a click away. Satisfaction takes planing, taking risks and making changes all by yourself.
Before you throw the towel in, stop waiting for the change you want, and make the change you can. You don't want to see him every day? Fine. Make yourself busy.
And take yourself away from the computer before it becomes a bad habit and self-fulfilling prophecy. Only time can tell if your relationship with repair itself, but you don't have to spend that time sitting on your butt waiting. In fact, sitting on your butt will hasten it's demise.
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