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People think I am gay
I am a 14 year old male in high school and I'm pretty sure everyone thinks that I am gay.
Around 6 months ago my male friend and I were discussing Lady GaGa and the "hermaphrodite" thing. I jokingly said that if people say she has a penis it must be true, then my friend said "Well people think you are gay, does that make it true?". I was shocked, I then said "Pfft, people don't think I'm gay" which he then said "Yeah they do. Everyone does".
In year 6 a girl asked me out who I rejected, I then went out with my previous next-door-neighbor who lived in a different state which no one believed. I then went out with some slutty chick and dumped my girlfriend for her. This chick was a huge slut and she wanted to have sex which was really weird for me at the time. So at high school I hardly ever talk to girls and just hang out with my small group of friends.
I'm a pretty shy guy, I get really quiet when I am introduced to someone who I haven't talked to much which is every girl at the school. I am pretty bad at starting conversations with people that I don't know well. I am fairly ugly but my slut ex-girlfriend said that I am "not ugly but not hot". I have really big lips which I think could contribute to the gay thing possibly.
So I don't talk to many girls, I have been asked out twice. First time I knew it was a joke because that girl was wayy to hot so I said no. Second time it was an ugly girl who my friends hated, I said no. This was all last year. This is the year where I have realized that everyone thinks I am gay. About 3 people have come up to me and asked if I was gay, and when I deny it I'm pretty sure they don't believe me. The ugly girl who I rejected told this openly gay guy to yell "Hey James, Hey James, Hey James" at me repetitively which I pretended to ignore. There is also this girl who used to like me who I never made a move on.
So what do you think I should do to prove that I am not gay? Ask out some girl? I am ugly so I don't know if I could. Please help me.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
Obviously you are not ugly because girls seem to take interest in you. No, but the next time you get asked out just say yes.
The way to deal with being called gay is to just tell people you aren't, make jokes about it, and then, if they still don't believe you, ignore them. If they want to be immature just leave it at that.
Best of luck xx
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listen to the other advicenator before me. why do you care what other people think?? if someone asks you if you're gay, ask them if they pick their nose..
its honestly really ridiculous if you think about it. if people are making such a big deal out of it, i would just be annoyed and say "back off i really could care less about what you think. if you want to believe it, then fine go ahead. i really dont care."
its like if you wore sandals in winter and people made fun of you because you were too poor to afford other shoes.. just ignore them and show them that you could care less about what they think.
your problem is that you dont have self confidence. you're calling yourself ugly.. which is not ok. make a list of everything you love about yourself and what others love about you.
also, why the heck do you need to "prove" that you're not gay. no one is forcing you to prove it. don't ask out a random girl just because you want people to like you.. that is extremely selfish. you're gonna end up hurting that girl because she will find out that she was just used and that you never liked her.
unless you do ask out a girl you like. which is ok. don't be scared of girls. what the heck are they going to do to you...? they arent gonna like eat you... they aren't gonna kill you.... worse case is that a girl says no. big deal... woopdie doo... life goes on. move on. you're gonna face SOOOO many rejections in life. you have no idea what you're gonna face with in life. this is nothign compared to what will happen in the future. learn to deal with this right now. if you dont overcome your fears right now, you're never gonna be able to handle the grown up problems..
have self confidence. have courage. have strength. stand up for yourself. dont be pushed down by people who dont matter. you cant please everyone in the world. there will be people who dont like you. you cant change yourself just to please others. tell them to deal with it. if they dont like you, tell them to look away. dont change yourself just for the happiness of others. do what makes you happy. if you dont please everyone else, then thats too damn bad for them.
you can do this. inbox me if you need more help.
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Why do you care what they think? In a few years you won't know 90% of these people. What they think doesn't matter as it cannot change the fact you aren't.
If they want to believe it that's their issue. They are trying to get a rise out of you the only way they can. Don't react. If someone asks if you're gay you can say "I'm not gay but if I were what would it matter to you? It's not your business either way."
As for girls the right one will come along. You also need to stop seeing yourself as ugly as they will pick up upon your self-esteem issues. Also, calling one of them ugly or classifying her as such isn't good either. She must have saw something in you to be interested enough to approach you.
Also, if they keep bullying you, hitting and or implying you are gay or using slurs tell a teacher, counsellor or administrator. They cannot by law intimidate or harass you without severe consequences.
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