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to talk to or not to talk to?
so, i had a boyfriend of a year. we broke up in december 09. i went out with someone else immediately and when we broke up, he was interested in someone else.
basically, we began to be on separate teams. we hated each other. we started rumors, and his new girlfriend absolutely hated me. we would say shit out loud in the hallways at school. it was bad and literally a war. some adults got involved.
in july, it was his birthday. i said happy birthday and he told me off.
in august, we hung out with a group. he seemed fine & we talked okay. he hugged me hello & goodbye. i havent talked to him since, because he goes to a boarding school now.
then on oct 30, mischief night, we all hung out in the same group again when he came back to our town from his school. we didnt even acknowledge each other's existence, but that could be because he was with his own friend.
it's november now, and i feel like we still havent gotten closure. i think about him every day and i still love him because of who he was to me. i'm tired of comparing other guys to him. could it be that i need closure? should i try to talk to him? i have a 50/50 chance of him replying like a normal person, or just telling me off again. im so scared because i dont want to know he doesnt care about me anymore if that's true.
should i talk to him? its been months since we have, about 8 months. i feel as if the timing might be wrong, or maybe its just right. i dont know. advice? what do you think i should do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
i believe that everybody deserves a second chance. its been 8 months.. life changes, people change. i know this because i experienced it. maybe he has changed. you probably have changed too. the only thing you need to realize is that it is a risk... are you willing to take the risk though? here's a quote-
“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
you can take the risk and have the fear of being rejected.. or you can not take the risk but then risk losing him. its your call.
my personal opinion (if i were you) i would talk to him again. just talk. dont get too caught up and start flirting immediately. just causal talk. see how it goes. if it seems cold and negative, then its probably not meant to be. but if things change and you guys hit it off pretty well.. it might be fate. hang out and go on dates. just have fun. dont be so serious :) life is about having fun and taking risks. dont forget that. you're only young once!!
inbox me if you need more help
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Hey there,
It sounds as if this relationship had a really bad break-up. If he broke up with you for another girl, then that just shows how easy you were to give up for him. Sure he was nice to you a few times, but you've talked about more bad then good. He could of just hugged you to see if you would hug back, not because he missed you. It also sounds as if who he was, was a long time ago. I think you should let him be, for he is hurting you more than helping you.
I believe you do need closure from him. If you want, go ahead and talk to him. As you said though, he may treat you badly.. so do you want to feel that pain again? Be prepared for a very honest answer. If he treats you alright, do not think of it as "he is back to being nice". If he treats you like crap, hold your head up and say "I am not going through this anymore" and move on. There are many other guys that will come around and treat you twice as good as this guy has; stick with those guys. Trust your instincts, if you are still scared for the next time... there shouldn't be a next time <3
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