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Should I stay or Should i go?
So ive been dating this guy for the past 3 months we work together,so i see him on the weekends when we both work.I commute to college, he lives on campus both of us go to different schools, hsi is 20 minutes away.Well I finally asked him what we were because i was confused and i didnt see him this past weekend,so i texted him it and he says well i would say were just getting with each other i dont want to mess it up with me being in school but ill let you know if things change i said oh so do you want me to get with other guys? and he said right now i wouldnt like it but i wont hod it against you if you do i said i feel the same way and he said alright glad were on the same page. The messed up part kinda bothers me like so your away at school if we were together you wouldve cheated on me so were just gonna have a open relationship..? i asked me friends both guys and girls my guy friends said hes committed to me but dosent want to do all the boyfriend stuff and i said yeah if he dosent like me getting with other people then why wouldnt we just go out? and my friend said i know, hes being selfish like he could get with other girls but i cant ya know..? and he said that hes in control it seems cause hes the one away at school my girl friends said its not really bad because this eventually ends up being a relationship usually ... but truth is its bothering me now and i get attached to guys really easily i dont want to get hurt, Im always in these situations i never end up having a relationship i get screwed over all the time, but i really like him. And he acts like he lives so far away he lives 20 minutes away..i only see him once a week or every two weeks when he comes home plus the weekends when we work together. I mean he acts like my boyfriend, he comes over my house and talks to my parents he seems like he cares about me and he gets jealous when other gus talk to me you know? And when we work on the weekends i ask him what hes doing and he says (whatever hes doing) but i dont feel like it do you want to hang out? its not all the time but its quite a few times like im the second choice and im convenient..But it sucks cause i really like him so im thinking maybe he will make up his mind and ask me to be his girlfriend but i dont know how long that will take if ever, and the longer it is the more i get hurt....but winter vacation is a month and its in a few weeks so maybe something will happen cause he will be home? Should i confront him? i dont want it to seem like im giving him an ultimatium either pick me or get wit other girls you know? what should i do? what would you do? sorry if i was rambaling i didnt want to leave anything out lol thank you!
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This guy has already made up his mind. You've realized that. Walk away. He's given you his answer already. If you stay and continue to be hurt by him, you'll only have yourself to blame. Consider yourself warned, from the very source himself!
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in my personal opinion, i would give him an ultimatum. you just said that you didnt want to get hurt because it seems like you're always getting hurt by guys.. well if you're stuck in this so-called "relationship" id guarantee you that you're gonna end up being hurt.
its best to just clarify things with him. ask him "what are we?" or "what do i call you? my boyfriend? my friend?"
to me it just seems way easier to talk about things and either choose- relationship or no relationship. if its in between, (to me) it just seems really messy and confusing and chances are someone will get hurt. it just seems easier if you give him an ultimatum.
i also feel like he might not be right for you. now dont mistake me. i'm not telling you to break up with him or anything.. i'm just giving you my opinion, which is i dont think he's right for you. if he is questioning your relationship right now and saying "you can get with other guys but i wont feel good about it" then that pretty much means that he's not looking for something serious (which you made it seem like you are looking for something a little more serious, considering you've gotten hurt in the past and dont want to get hurt anymore)
i'm not sure what to think about this "selfish" issue (whether he is selfish or not) but to me it just seems like he into you but not that serious about it.. you need to decide what you want. do you want a serious relationship with an actual boyfriend? or do you want a not-so-serious relationship and just have a good guy to hook up with and act like a boyfriend?
your call.
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