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confused about my marriage
I'm 22 years old, but grown for my age.
Iv been living with my wife for 6 years, since i was 16 ( she was 20 at the time ).we have had our problems for a while now. and im sick of it. for the passed 2 years i havent felt the same way about her as i did when i was 16 years old. she was my first girlfriend, well first and last everything. I feel like have haven't fully lived my life. like iv limited my self to one person. hard to explain. It like i grabbed the first book i saw in the store and said * good enough * before looking around. and she was soo much older then me back then, but now that im 22 and shes 26, iv relized that im not having the fun my friends are. Im not going out to the clubs, im not going dancing, bar hopping, ect. i know marrage is a commitment but, if i only live once, im going to make it count . what if there are other girls that can make me happyer? what if there someone eles that shares more hobbys with me? argue less, better sexually. im so lost right now. i just got back from iraq but iv felt this way since befor i left.i feel oblagated to stay because my military insureance covers her medical problems. and with out it she couldnt afford it herself. i donno what to do. do i stay married and unhappy?
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There comes a time in your life where you have to do what's right for you .but on the other hand you do have a commentment and being married at an early age always is no good but you have to decide if you love this woman or not and find in your heart what's right for you .marage can be a beautiful thing if you both make it happen but and I do say but both of you have to be cmmited to eachother and make it work .I'm not saying dvorce is wrong but if its salvageable than why go to the truble .if I where you talk to your wife and tell her how you fell .it sounds like to me you are bored in your rlationship .get out and discover differen things together make your lives more intresting spice it up at home when you both go out together .it makes a world of differance when you rediscover eacother it will make thing new again .that's what me and my wife did to save our relationship .it works trust me
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As one military man to another let me first thank you for your service.
Yes you did marry young, and yes you have and will miss out on a lot. I commend you for your maturity and thoughtfulness towards your wife while you struggle with this inner turmoil.
You did not say why you married so young. When a person marries as young as you did there are usually underlying reasons. Some of these marriages last a lifetime and some of them do not. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition that has to be worked at all the time. You were too young at the time you married to realize what you might be giving up. You could be suffering what some call the 7 year itch, or buyers remorse. Neither of these terms means you should just throw your marriage away and start over.
The first thing you need to do is sit down with your wife and find out how she feels about the marriage, while telling her how you feel. Next the two of you must decide if your marriage can be saved and if you both want to work to save your marriage. You might be surprised by what your wife has to say and to what ends she may go to save the marriage.
The next thing is to find a marriage counselor.
Because of the stress the wars have placed on families the military has gone to great length to provide marriage counseling assistance. Check with the First Sergeant's office for a referral.
Yes you missed a lot but you also gained a lot from your marriage. Your friends envy what you have while you are envying what they have. Take the time to really look at what you have and if you can save and grow into it so more. Ask for the help that you have available to you. Life these days as a single person is not as much fun as you may think it is. As to hobbies and such, you and your wife can learn to explore things you can both enjoy. That is what marriage is all about.
I've been disabled for the last 6 years due to a work related accident. I've learned to enjoy cooking and baking. We now spend each weekend cooking or baking. The past couple of weekends we have tried our hand at bread making. Next weekend Pasta making. We have had success and we have had some really bad/fun failures. But most of all we have had fun. The point I am trying to make is; that it is possible to find new things/hobbies that both of you can enjoy.
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