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MAJOR PROBLEMS: completely lost motivation in life
Every year just seems to get worse and worse, ever since 7th grade. That's when I started having problems with procrastination. Before that, it took me longer than normal to do work, too. I'd spend hours doing homework that would take others less than an hour. Now I'm 16 in 11th grade and this is the worst year yet. I am failing 6 out of 8 classes.. and I have so much make up work to do that I'm not even sure my teachers will accept but I have to do it anyways.. I don't know how I got myself in this situation. I had summer reading, but I put it off til last minute. My teacher said that only me and 1 other person in all of her classes didn't hand in a summer reading project. In 10th grade I had major issues like that until I moved to this new school, but now I'm just repeating those problems but at a worse scale. I feel mad at myself everyday cause I can only blame myself.. but I just wish people would take notice and try to help somehow.. thats the only thing that frustrates me though its pretty selfish I guess. my older sister has depression so my parents focus most of their time with her and im just afraid to tell people my problems because nobody really helps.. my parents and gudiance counselor just scold me and I just feel worse. I want to go to a good college and get a great job I know I can get because other than my laziness Im a very good student when I try. Its a bad combination, but I'm also a huge perfectionist. I guess its part of the reason it takes me so long to do homework. but when i really apply myself I get a lot of 100s. but the key to getting As is HARD WORK not BRAINS. and i dont feel very smart when im getting myself in this situation. every day its just worse and worse and i dont want to go to school but ive already skipped school 5 times this marking period trying to finish my work (which i could never focus to do on those days) and i cant miss anymore days of the semester unexcused or my parents could get in trouble. my parents were really pissed about it too. but each day i just get more hw added to the neverending pile of work. i have work from the beginning of the 1st marking period in most classes, thats how bad it is. why am i just letting this happen? because of this it really pissed off and let down my volleyball coaches, teachers, parents, etc. ive become really reserved and etc and thats not how i was last year when i first came to the school and got high As in everything. i just dont have any confidence when im doing so bad in school. like today in english class i couldnt even think of how to respond to a topic.. we had to write a personal narrative about how a secret has impacted our life. i spent over 1 hour trying to think of something.. but I just couldnt come up with anything. I asked my teacher for extra time at the end to finish, but he said he wont accept it because I wrote nothing, and he knows my previous record of not doing work. i went to the next class in tears. and i cant really get mad at him because im the one whos messing up, not him. dammit this is my junior year why cant i get a hold of myself? when i come home its almost impossible to not go on sites like yahooanswers, youtube, and forums to try and get rid of the pressure i felt from school. but then i end up going online for several hours and then im too tired for work and then the cycle of not getting work done just continues. the last time i actually completed homework at home was about 2 weeks ago. thats how bad my situation is. i was dropped down from 2 college classes and ugh everything is just horrible. im saying this here because i dont have anyone to talk to. ive never really had close friends in my life... the whole friendship thing is really foreign to me.. god it sounds so lame but its true. almost all the friends ive had in life have just been " school friends". and id be nice to them and try to invite people to things rarely (because the idea of inviting people for things seems awkward.. im not used to being a host at all) but i'd almost never get invited by them for stuff either. i didnt do halloween this year not because i didnt want to dress up and stuff, but because i had no one to hang out with or anything. I just feel so lonely.. and I dont get how everyone else seems to have even a few friends that are close to them. i dont know what ive done so wrong to not get friends cause im not ugly, super weird, or mean or anything. i dont need to be popular, i just want to feel close to someone you know? if i cant even get best friends then i guess it will be ages before i get a boyfriend too. not that i even feel ready for one.. because again, i dont feel confident w/ my failing grades
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lol long indeed. let me start off by sayin that i when though the axact same thing in high school. i started to feel like there's no reason to on. i wasn't suicidal, i just didn't know where to start on filling in the hole i dug myself. school wasn't hard, i knew i need to do the work, i just couldnt get myself to summon the enthusiasm to acttually do it. here's my advise. as far as the feelings of giving up goes, everybody gets them but ive found that i usually get them when i feel like i have nothing to look forward to. games. money. a new car. i had to feel like i was going to get more than a "good job". give yourself small tangible goals that you can stay committed to and are also rewarding like finding a job(theme parks are usually the easiest), getting yourself a laptop or getting your license. the more you find success in reaching these small goals, higher your moral becomes. if youu buy your own first car, there is no other feeling like it, trust me. and as for the school work, try setting a pace(5 assignments a day all together). if you overwhelm yourself you wont stay motivated. most importantly, take breaks. play some video games, take a nap, do whatever you do to take your mind off stress. typically people get stressed when they have nothing to do but think. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. get some legos if you have to. just stay busy. remember thinking is good, but over-thinking will destroy you.
hope this helps, good luck
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Hey there,
Wow...you sound alot like me. I move around quite a bit because my father is in the military, so we have to go where ever the government need him. I started slacking off in middle school when I finally began to hate having to make brand new friends every other year. School didn't matter to me. The only fun part of school was gone (friends)and I din't want to put in the effort to start fresh.
Needless to say, my grades slipped and my mother became extremely concerned. She was certain that it was the teacher or something since I had never done poorly in anything ever before.
It was hard to get on top of things, but as soon as I made friends again, I was motivated. Homework sucked the most. Even now I despise the thought of working at school for about 8 hours only to bring work back to my house just so that I can work for another couple hours.
I found out that listening to music was a great way for me to focus, because I have a short attention span and if I'm not entertained in some way, I'll get off track. I just had to make sure it wasn't too loud or I started to get too into it :) Also, if I chew on something like gum or a snack, it's easier for me to concentrate on the task at hand.
I have to admit that I'm still pretty lazy though and if I know I'll pass a class even if I don't do the assignment, I tend not to do it :)
Hope this helped atleast a little :p
-bpt
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