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I messed up and I don't know how to fix it.
I started dating my boyfriend a month ago. The night I met him, he was with a guy I went to school with and the guy's girlfriend. It was my first time meeting the girl, but since me and my boyfriend started dating we've gotten pretty close. My boyfriend spent the night with me last night and when he was asleep the girl called me crying. Her and her boyfriend were fighting and she asked if I could do her a favor. I said yes, and she gave me his myspace email and password and told me to go on there and check his messages for her. I didn't want to do it, but she was crying and I have a really hard time telling people no, especially if they're upset.
So, I did. My boyfriend work up and found out what I was doing and got really upset because the guy is like a brother to him. I apologized to my boyfriend, and I honestly feel horrible about what I did. Now I don't know what to do. I want to tell the guy what I did since I feel like he deserves to know, but the girl begged me not to and it would probably start a lot of drama between them, and possibly me and my boyfriend since he lives with them. I feel so guilty about what I did, but the girl will be really upset with me if I tell.
What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Keep apologizing to your boyfriend, and tell your female friend she behaved badly.
I understand why you’d want to confess. Unfortunately it might not be the best move, since you wouldn’t be able to apologize for your part in what happened, without also exposing her.
Have a really firm talk with her. It sounds hard, but it really is what you need to do in order to A.) Work on not being such a pushover and B.) Let her know where you stand.
She needs to be told that what she asked you to do was despicable and not at all okay.
She needs to be told that you regret it, it won’t do anything like that again.
She needs to be told that you won’t say anything to her boyfriend, but she should.
She needs to be told that if she is going to come to you as a friend for support, you’ll be there for her, but that she cannot ask you do something unethical. A friend doesn’t ask you to lie or cheat for them. It’s not nice, and it’s not decent.
It’s okay if she’s upset with you. Better she be upset with you than try and drag you into her bullshit behaviour again. If she wants someone to invade her boyfriend’s privacy, next time she can call someone else.
Telling your boyfriend that you stood up to her, and told her you thought you were both wrong and that she is never to put you in that position again, will probably help him begin to trust you again. You need to prove that you can stand up for what is right, and not be pushed around by the emotions of others.
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