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sex addiction
ok im single male 41 yrs old, always have been 100% dorky but now gianned weight with age. nevr have been any good with females at all. started masturbating and continued regular since high school about 5 times a day. lately i have been experimenting with cross dressing in panties as a way to get off, as the regular got manotinous. my doctor told me that its like doing drugs i have to keep upping the ante for same effects.
my question is - i have NO feelings for dudes or being a women , but does wearing panties make me gay or bi, even though i have none of those thoughts or feelings or is it just being a horny lonley guy?
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What people need to learn is that... nothing MAKES a person bi/homosexual. The definition of being homosexual is having feeling for the same sex. You say you don't have those feelings? Then, no, you're not homosexual/bisexual. I apologize deeply for your ignorance, seeing as you had to ask this question. I also apologize for coming off a bit nasty in this response, I honestly don't mean to.
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My thoughts on your question my answer would be no.
Off the subject a bit. After reading your question and just to satisfy my own curiosity I went on the web and typed in "Men's Thongs". These are not something I would wear but I wanted to see the difference between a male and female thong. I discovered in style there was not much difference. In construction most are made of cotton and constructed to accommodate the penis flap. The female thong has a larger variety of material including cotton. I then went on to check male underwear vs female panties. While my results are certainly not scientific my research found: today there is not much difference between the male new style of underwear pants and female panties. In the female department you can even find "Y" fronts for women.
My conclusion, You can't judge or shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. Meaning what a person wears does not make them gay or anything else for that matter.
A friend of mine, married and now with two children, make up one morning when newly married found that his wife had not done the laundry. The only clean underpants were her panties. Being the same waist size he had no choice but to wear her panties to work that day. He claims so doing resulted in the conception of their first child. Should I label him a closet homosexual? I don't think so. To this day they both interchange their underpants.
If your comfortable with this then to hell with what anyone else thinks. I might add finding a new doctor would be a good idea.
I think you miss understood my answer: What I so politely was trying to say was; wearing womens panties or cross dressing does not make you gay! Your sex life is your own as long as your comfortable with your sex life to hell with what other may think. I would give the same advise to swingers, nudists and other sexual lifestyles. As long as no one is hurt by ones life choices I say to heck with what they think, it is not their life. I hope I have clarified my thoughts for you.
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You aren't gay or bi unless you are sexually attracted to men, period. End of discussion.
You are a horny, lonely guy.
You are a horny, lonely guy, who should probably see a sensible, sex-positive therapist to deal with your feelings of isolation, and honestly, what sounds a bit like depression.
Your doctor was irrational harsh on you, but to put it the possible concern a bit differently than their silly drug-addict metaphor:
It's quite possible you are developing a bit of a sexual compulsion. If you feel your solo-sex activities are negatively affecting your life and feeding into your isolation and unhappiness, then that is a problem.
Masturbation and Cross-dressing = Perfectly Normal.
Feeling a compulsion to behave in a way that seems to further isolate you and feeds into thoughts of self-loathing = A problem.
You get to decide, inside yourself, if what you are doing has turned into a problem.
If you think it hasn’t turned into a compulsion that is contributing to your negative self image and unhappiness. Fantastic! Go have fun in your panties!
If you think it has, go find some non-judgemental help to get yourself to a place of better balance and more potential. Cross-dressing isn't a problem by itself, neither is masturbation - but both things can become problematic when they are used as band-aid solutions to broader issues of unhappiness.
You certainly sound to me, even in this brief question, like you could use some help – a friendly supportive kick in the ass from a professional – and that has almost nothing at all to do with sex.
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It does NOT make you bisexual or homosexual at all. Whoever says it does is absolutely, flat-out, ignorant when it comes to human beings.
There are actually many, many straight men who enjoy wearing women's clothing, lingerie, and even wigs. Many times straight men find it fascinating to cross-dress. Some just like the soft feel of women's clothing, too. There are lots of cross-dressing catwalks and what-not that a lot of straight men attend because they just think it's fun, for whatever reason.
Everyone has sexual preferences. Everyone has fetishes. Everyone has likes and dislikes when it comes to sex.
Just like there are women who love to wear men's clothing, there are always going to be men who love to wear women's clothing. It doesn't mean anyone's sexual identity has changed. I have LOTS of female friends who wear men's boxers but I NEVER pointed at them and said, "OMG! You're a lesbian now!" And I'm certain some woman, some where, gets sexually turned on by wearing men's underwear. Doesn't change her sexual preference.
If you don't find men sexually appealing and you do not want to engage in sexual behavior with a man then you are straight. It's as simple as that. There's no twisted, "Well, I like lacy panties..." that makes a person's homosexual. It's the urge to act upon sexual feelings for the same gender. Nothing more. Nothing less. If you don't have desires of acting sexually with another man then you're straight.
It's like seeing a man and saying, "Wow, I really like his abs. That looks good." It doesn't mean the person commenting is a homosexual male. It means he's seen a visually attractive man and recognizes what he likes about that body. It may cause him to work-out more frequently and pay more attention to his abdomen muscles. It doesn't mean he wants to bed the guy. It doesn't mean he wants to go down on him. It doesn't mean he begins sexually fantasizing about him. It just means he found something visually appealing. It's natural. It happens. There's nothing wrong with it. Lots of men thought guys like John Wayne were amazing--didn't make them gay at all. Heck, lots of them wanted to BE John Wayne because they liked his physic, his stride, his whatever made him John Wayne. Just sayin'!
If you like women then you like women. If you want to have sex with women then you aren't homosexual. If you do not want to have sex with men then you're not bisexual. If the only gender you have sexual, lustful feelings toward is female then you're a very straight man.
It doesn't matter if you want to run around naked all day--you're sexual preference hasn't changed. You could dress up like a bright red lobster every day of your life and nobody is going to point at you, screaming, "Oh my god, he's a loberster-ist!"
There are women who like their men to dress up like other women, believe it or not. There are women who think it's sexually appealing to see their boyfriend, husband, partner, whatever in lacy panties and a silky bra. It doesn't mean they're lesbians at all. It means they have sexual desires, fantasies, fetishes, etc. It means they're human.
I wouldn't worry about it at all. Your "acting out" isn't harmful in any way. Seriously. There are a lot more fetishes out there in the world that are more serious then this sort of thing.
Relax. Calm down. Ignore your doctor's pleads for you to stop. If it makes you happy then it makes you happy.
It'd be different if you were going out and harassing people or having bad thoughts of like, say, rape. THAT would make therapy very important. If you're doing this dress-up in the privacy of your own home and there's no other people involved that this could wind up being detrimental to their physical or mental health then this is probably very well in the range of safe and acceptable.
Dressing up in the other gender's clothing? In the privacy of your own home? Please. That is far from extreme or perverted.
Your normal. Congratulations. Find a doctor who doesn't think you wanting to wear women's clothing is WAY out of the norm. If he/she thinks you dressing in lingerie is "upping the ante" for more sexual pleasure then there's either more going on and you've been "upping the ante" for years now and have told him or he is absolutely clueless when it comes to sexual behavior in adult humans. I don't know what you've told him in the past--but you do.
If you feel you're spending entirely too much time focusing on sexual pleasure then get a hobby. Go out more frequently. Find some friends (online or otherwise) that aren't going to act sexual. Volunteer in your local community. Masturbating a couple of times a day is probably nothing extreme though--panties or no panties.
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