Today my dad walked in on me throwing up because I am bulimic. He had no idea and I've never told a living soul. He was disgusted and mad and made me feel so alone. He threatned to call my future college coach which means I could lose my scholarship. And the look on his face when he walked in makes me want to kill myself. Not to mention right as this is all happening my mom and aunt got in a huge fight and it got physical and cops were being called and everything is hitting me all at once and I feel so helpless and alone and I don't want to live right now. Everything was going so perfect annd I was finally happy and now I feel like things wil never be normal agqain. I called my brother and he calmed me down a lot and helped me. I just feel so terrible right now. I don't know what to do. I need help. Please.
And just so you know I havnt been bulimic for long, only like 2 months. But I feel like I will never be able to earn back my dads trust. I just never wanted to hurt them and now I feel like I did.
Additional info, added Wednesday October 6 2010, 2:21 pm: And do you think that I will get dropped from my college if my coach finds out? They recruited me and I have been commited there for about 6 months. I feel like if they find out then they will not want me anymore.
and for the record I am a 17 year old female.
Also where do I go from here and will things ever go back to normal? I don't want my parents to look at me as a sick nut for the rest of my life.. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families? Peeps answered Wednesday October 6 2010, 1:45 pm: Your coach can very well drop you for doing something like this because it's self-harming and a huge health risk to have somebody like that on a team. If he had knowledge of this sort of eating disorder then he could get into a mess if, say, you were to die during a game. Seriously. Bulimia comes with a lot more bodily damage than you would think and a lot of it can lead to sudden death.
So, how do you get out of this entire mess?
You ask for help. If you're currently in treatment then you coach can be more understanding of the situation.
Talk with your father, mother, or some adult about getting help for this eating disorder right away. Express concern for your own health and tell them that you know something is not right.
Nothing was "finally normal" when you were binging and purging. Something was still very wrong--you just weren't completely aware of it. This sort of self-destructive behavior is always a huge sign that something is majorly screwed up in your life.
Reach out. Talk to a school counselor. Talk to your parents. Talk to a police officer if you have to. Get help. Get into therapy. Work through this mess. Get well, and move on with your life instead of ending it here.
Looking at your previous questions (as I have a paid account currently) you and I both know this eating disorder has been going on far longer than 2 months. It's time to get help and get well. [ Peeps's advice column | Ask Peeps A Question ]
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