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Sex tips for a 20 year old?
20female.
I have a few questions.
First, is the guy usually mad if you don't give them head before having sex? I mean, I'd think they would be happy just having sex but I'm wondering if you don't give them head and just to go sex if they will think in their head, "Whats this girl thinking or what is she doing..?"
Also, I hate being on top, for anything. I've never been on top for sex and I even hate being on top when I'm just straddling a guy and kissing his neck. What if a guy wants me to be on top at some point for sex? One time me and this guy were making out and he was on top of me and then we switched, well he switched us and put me on top. I felt like I needed to know more of what I was doing, I just didn't like it at all and we weren't even having sex at this point. Is this a turn off?
Overall I just need tips anything that will help me look more sexy and be more of a turn on, and yes I've had sex but only while he was on top.
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I’m not a guy, but I’m 25 and I started sleeping with men at about your age, so I hope you don’t mind me rattling off my opinions and experience on the matter…
A guy who gets 'mad' at you for not performing oral sex on him (without first telling you that is what he would like, or that it really turns him on or some such) is being a jerk. You cannot be expected to read guys’ minds on that subject.
Many guys I've been with would appreciate a blow job. For some it might make the experience a lot more fun for them, and for others it could a really valuable part of foreplay for them ('Cause yes, many men require some sort of foreplay too!) Other guys might find a blow job a bit of a distraction. Others might not care at all either way. It's really something you have to be able to ask your partner about, and they need to be able to answer you honestly. Like I said though - a guy who gets mad at you (especially if he gets mad without telling you what he was interested in the first place) is a jerk you shouldn't be sleeping with.
A guy who wants one thing, while you want the exact opposite – well that guy may or may not be a jerk, but he just isn’t a good sex partner for you.
If you tell someone you hate being on top, yeah, that is probably a turn off for a lot of people.
If you say you aren’t confident on top, well, that’s a bit different.
It’s good to know that some things take experience and time to gain confidence, it’s a bit of a turn off when your partner isn’t interested in gaining that experience or confidence and just says no (especially to very basic things like oral sex or being on top while making out).
You don’t need to lie about how you feel about any sex acts: oral sex or being on top. But if you are interested in being sexier and becoming more skilled, you have to stay open to giving things a fair try, working through that initial discomfort of inexperience, and figuring out if you were just uncomfortable because you didn’t have the experience and confidence, or if a particular act just isn’t your cup of tea.
Obviously, all the normal advice applies: practice safe sex and don’t do anything you truly don’t want too.
Frankly though hun, your question here is exactly the reason I recommend people who are sexually inexperienced have exclusive sexual relationships. Hooking up is not a good way to build skills or confidence. You really need a reliable partner, who cares for you and knows you well and who you care for and know well, to help you develop these basic sexual skills together with confidence and in a way where it’s okay if you make mistakes! Guys who don’t know you well are prone to undermining your confidence without meaning too and the added stress of being with someone you don’t know well makes risk taking and experimenting all the more scary.
If you are really keen on learning how to be a good sexual partner, find a reliable partner who can be a good friend as well as sex partner, even if not a boyfriend, and build your skills with them.
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