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Finding it hard to make friends
I started university a couple of weeks ago and I'm finding it really hard to settle in. I live in university accomodation with loads of other people and I just expected to make friends straight away as I've never had a problem doing so before. I have made a couple but I'm finding it really hard making more. I've tried to talk to the people on my course more but I still feel left out and I don't feel like anyone likes me or wants to get to know me. I'm really far away from home and it's tough knowing I don't have anyone who really cares about me close by. I'm far from quiet or shy once you get to know me but I find it really hard to break the ice and I'm not very independant. I've been looking forward to starting university for years and I was so excited about moving away from home. I really thought I'd be able to cope with it but I feel like I'm letting myself down.
What can I do?
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Ok. Don't panic! Take a breath. Step back. Now, look at what you wrote. You only started a couple of weeks ago?! Honey, that's nothin'. You haven't failed at making friends, you just got there. The problem a lot of young folks have with the move to university is that they are leaving an environment where all their support system is built in. You have the idea that friendship should be ready-made, because you've always had friends. But you grew up with those people and they knew about you and your life. Now you're in a place where nobody knows you, and you're starting from scratch. The good news is you get to start over, decide who you want to be and what you want to do differently. Nobody knows you yet, so nobody has any expectations of you, so you can pretty much set the tone for how you'd like to be seen. So don't get so down on yourself. You're a grown up now and you're going to learn that time is a lot different as a grown up than it is as a kid. 2 weeks in high school seems like a long time, but in the grown up world its more like 2 days. Give it 2 months before you start beating up on yourself, but I can pretty much guarantee that if you just relax and don't worry so much about it you'll have a pretty solid group of friends by that time. You'll be fine. This is a HUGE adjustment. You are going through one of the biggest changes of your life. Yes, its exciting, but its also scary. Give yourself a break. You got there, didn't you? That says something. Soon it will feel like home. I promise. Just be patient and don't force things. It will all fall into place in time. Good luck!
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