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cheating boyfriend. phone records
i'm afraid my boyfriend might be cheating on me. i don't want to ask him. cause i'm scared that he'd start a fight, and i dont want any drama with this. i want to get ahold of his phone records, but without him knowing. i dont really know how to get onto his phone account. how can i get them without having to know any of his information?
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You can't. It's illegal and you would need his permission to do so.
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You can't.
What you are suggesting, isn't just immoral, it's illegal.
At most, you might be able to hire a private investigator who is licensed in your state and who would be able to help you within the bounds of the law.
However, if you seriously feel the need to hire someone to investigate your boyfriend, or to behave immorally or illegally to obtain this information, then you need to end your relationship. No matter if he is cheating or not - if this is how far you are willing to go, it's not longer a relationship that is working for either of you.
If you want to create a relationship that does work, try couples counselling. Or at very least, talk to your boyfriend about your fears.
There is no way to guarantee you will never be betrayed in love. If you really want to be with someone else, it's a risk you need to take. If you aren't willing to take that risk with your boyfriend anymore, then end the relationship.
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I think that would be considered invasion of privacy.
If you suspect your boyfriend of being unfaithful then the only way you will know for sure is to sit down and talk to him. This sort of sneaking around is how people jump to conclusions and wind up single.
Trust me, I know where your coming from. The problem is in that you won't know EXACTLY what the phone records mean. If he made 10 calls to this mysterious number you might jump to conclusions and say, "I don't recognize that number! It must be another woman!" It would make matters worse if you followed through with your acquisition and contacted that phone number, only to hear a voice at the other line. All of a sudden you're cursing out your boyfriend only to find out that you've made a fool of yourself and that he had been calling his cousin in Texas!
That is how things like this go. It starts with an idea and it snowballs into making yourself out to be a jealous fool.
If you think he's cheating then you probably have good reason other than he has a phone and pays the bills to it. If you want to save the relationship--cheating or no cheating--you have to sit down and communicate with him. You have to say, "I am bothered by the fact that you never let me see your phone and it's making me think you must be hiding something from me. Can we please talk about this? It's really getting to me and I've tried to let it go but I can't. I'm concerned for us."
You have to handle this like an adult if you want the relationship to be long-term. Adults cannot just jump to conclusions to invade someone's private property because they want to. You absolutely must sit down and talk to the guy. Sure, there might be hard feelings brought up or even feelings of anger from the assumptions but you have to work through it. You have to sit there and be honest. You have to give the guy a chance to explain what has been happening. You also have to give him the chance to come clean or be honest if he does want the relationship to fix and he's been unfaithful.
If you cannot see yourself talking to him for any reason about this then it's time for couple's therapy. Communication is key in a healthy relationship. You can't just sneak around and hunt down dirt on your man and expect everything to go up like roses instead of flames. You have to get all of your questions answered truthfully--confronting him is the only way you will get all of the information. If he holds something back then you have to seek therapy to work out these communication problems. Otherwise you're wasting you time and getting you nerves in a big frenzy for nothing.
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