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Question re: manipulative guy I'm dating
So I've been dating this guy (I'm 27 he's 30) since the June and he's moving pretty fast, even says I love you. He basically told me that it was over if I didn't want to commit to him but the reason I don't want to commit was because I'm moving in Jan and don't want to go through a break-up. He's not okay with it not being official so the other day I made it official. (He's even told me I need counseling bc I have trust issues.) He was in Vegas this weekend and we texted but when I called he didn't pick up or call me back. I feel like he's been acting strange and I asked him if it was over. He said I was nuts because we just became a couple and I told him how he hasn't even called me back. He said I was annoying him with all this drama and that I was going to push him away if I continued this. Drama? I was shocked. He's basically forced me into this relationship and now I'm drama and clingy. What do I do?
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I think you need to ask yourself if you even want to be in this committment. If you really do care for this guy. I'm only 19 and i'm sure that i have a lot to learn in my life but if someone constantly controlls you and begs you to cling to him but turns around and says your being too clingy, then i think you have the wrong person. Look into the future, say 6 months. This kind of behavior only escelades. Now, don't get me wrong, there are people out there who do this and change, but it's rare. If you want to be with this guy(but by the sounds of it you don't) then talk to him and tell him how you feel. Ask how you are being too dramatized and clingy. Tell him if he don't like it to hit the road because men aren't worth changing for...sad thing is, i'm a man. To be in a relationship, you shouldn't have to change who you are, or what you do or even have to lose friends. Unfortunately I was that guy who controlled and all that. I changed, that's why i said it could happen. Don't change for anyone but yourself. If you understand his points, and want to change them, then do it but i highly recommend that you get out of this relationship. Wait till you leave in January, and wherever your going i'm sure there is someone waiting. Sweetie, you can fix this. you just have to be willing too.
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Maybe you should be asking yourself why you would allow yourself to be "forced into this relationship" in the first place. That's not at ALL what being in a relationship should be like. At this stage in the game it should feel effortless and comforting. Your relationship sounds like the opposite. I think your boyfriend may be right about the counseling, but I'd look into figuring out how I could be so wishy washy as to commit to a guy just because he threw a hissy about it. Sounds like the master manipulator and the easily manipulated found each other. Get out now and start figuring out why you are so easily led, then work to fix it.
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