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Does marriage counsiling work?
My husband and I are always in fights. He wants things his way and I want things my way. I was about fed up with him and was going to pack my things and leave and he told me he wants to go to marriage counseling to try to resolve this and work our marriage out. I know he wants to save it since he approached me about therapy. Do you think marriage counsiling really works or should I just give up now save us the money?
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Just like any other type of counseling, you will get from marriage counseling what you put into it. That is to say; you both must be committed to working with the counselor, being open to what is said in counseling and most importantly not holding something said in counseling against the other.
The counselor cannot fix your marriage but can guide your discussion and suggest ways to overcome the problems you are having. Both you and your husband need to be fully open and trusting with the counselor in the telling of what is bothering each of you about the marriage. It can be that one of you is too wrapped up in their work. One of you is a penny pincher while the other would like to have nice things and yes most importantly if there is a problem in the bedroom this needs to be discussed. When it comes to problems in the bedroom be assured the marriage counselor has heard them all so if this is a problem be open about this. Many a marriage has broken down because of sexual dysfunction between partners.
I would also suggest one more thing. Constant arguing and your attempts to control each other are two signs of depression. I would suggest that you both visit your family doctor and be screened for depression. Both, one of you or neither of you may be suffering from depression. If one or both of you are suffering from depression it is best that you find out and get treatment before and while you are getting marriage counseling.
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Marriage counseling isn't there to save your marriage. Marriage counseling helps you both (sanely) reach a decision as to whether you each want to save the marriage and figure out how to go about it.
The potential to help your marriage is great. The biggest obstacle most couples have is not willingness to try but a lack of knowledge of how to actually go about resolving conflicts and communicating without anger what's going on with each of you. A therapist is a neutral third party who can help set either of you straight, tell you when you aren't being rational or reasonable.
You both want to save this. Him asking proves it of him. You posting about it here proves it of you. Not going to at least one counseling session would be a mistake.
There are never any guarantees. One or both of you might, with help and clarity injected into the proceedings, realize that this isn't what you want.
But even that would be help, because if you realize it's the right decision for your well being it will be alot easier to separate amicably and settle this without a court bloodbath that'll destroy both of you mentally and emotionally.
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Marriage counsiling works only if you both are commeted to it .it can't be one without the other .if you want it to work out it can but there is no gurantee like anything .iv tried it before but I found myself the only one that went to it so the outcome was a devorce anyways .if you two are ment to be with eacother than you have to put your differances aside that's the only way to make it work otherwise you will both be at eachothers throats all the time .I sugest you do your homework and look around and give councelling a try .it wouldn't hurt
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the fact that he suggested counselling shows that he cares about you and wants to save the marriage in actual fact no marriage is perfect there will always be problems it will be for the best if you do go for counselling this will suggest that you are trying and shows him you care just be honest and open with each other, trust and honesty is most important and very healthy for relationships so communication is the key
good luck
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