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about boys, a general question. HELP!
so i was just wondering.
if i guy is dating a girl for a long time (8 months) and its the longest he has ever had (others were a month & didnt mean anything), will that guy tend to run away from his emotions?
and if so, will that guy ever realize that he is running from his emotions and just face it or will he just act like nothing happened?
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The trouble is, you are asking a general question, but you are looking for an answer that is specific to this one guy you want to better understand.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to the personal feelings of your boyfriend. We can make some guesses, and some generalizations for you, but they might be completely off the mark, and even if they are right, they will only get you so far.
The only way to truly understand him is to ask him about his behaviour and really listen to what he says.
Pychoanalzying or diagnosing our partners with ‘Well, he’s running from his feelings’ isn’t really fair. It’s putting a label on them without asking them if they are okay with that label. Also, labelling them doesn’t help them acknowledge or change the behaviour – If you don’t tell them about the label you gave them, you risk write them off based on your own theory, and if you do tell them, it can just feels like an accusation rather than a discussion.
So talk to the guy about the behaviour that makes you feel he is running from his feelings, but don’t accuse of him doing that. Instead, say things like “Why do you think you do X?” or “How do you deal when things in a relationship feel really intense?” After you’ve heard him a bit, you can share your own theories and feelings in non-judgemental ways and ask him if they make sense. “When you did X, it made me feel like you were running away from the emotions you were feeling…”
Some people are able to look at themselves and recognize why they behave the way they do. Other people learn this later in life. Some people NEVER learn it. You’ll never know which kind of person this guy is until you start a really open conversation about his behaviour and feelings.
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guys tend to get more comfortable with their emotions when they're dating someone for a long time. however, it's difficult to answer this question on the bases of not knowing the guy and the situation. just because he is a guy doesn't mean that all of them have the same tendencies. considering every person is different, i would suggest asking people who know him or talkign to him yourself.
hope this helped,
lucie
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