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Should I tell him Im in love with him?
So on the weekend I met a guy. He's 34 and I'm 19 and he lives about 3 hours away from me. Basically I made out with him the first night we met. The next night we slept together, and again the next morning and he was such a gentle person not just sexually but emotionally, didn't pressure me to do anything I didn't want to do. Now, I'm finding myself to be thinking of him constantly. He told me he cared about me but he wouldn't be able to see me much because he's always busy working long hours, which is fair enough considering he works a good job in the city. I can't talk to him until Thursday because at the moment his phone is being fixed and he won't have it back until Thursday, he said he'll contact me when he gets it...But I don't think I can have a Friendship with benefit thing with him seeing as I'm slowly falling for him and I don't know if he feels the same. Maybe he does like me in that way but wouldn't date me because of the distance, either way I'm afraid to tell him because I don't want to hear the "We can only be just friends" speech. And what makes it 1000 times complicated is that I have an ex who is still madly in love with me and got insanely(and aggressively) jealous of me hanging out with this new guy on the weekend annnd I have an online boyfriend who is coming to see me start of next year. You may think I'm a horrible person for this but this guy is just all I can think about and it's driving me crazy.
What should I do? I'm so stuck and feeling so lost :(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The 34 yr old is not available to you for a romantic relationship, he made that clear- he works long hours and won't see you much. In other words, it will be a FWB at his convenience. Females confuse sex with love and emotion and males do not. For him, out of sight, out of mind. If you are unable to separate love and sex, please wait until you are in a committed relationship to have it so you don't get heartbroken and tossed aside by men who will automatically place you in the "booty call" category for having no strings attached sex with them, no questions asked.
The ex is a person you have yet to set a boundary with- he's an ex for a reason, to be left in the past, and not allowed to abuse you in the present.
LDRs are almost impossible to maintain long term and usually fizzle out once one of the people meet someone who they can have a real relationship with "in person".
You are not a horrible person, you just aren't approaching relationships the right way. Please don't waste your time on lost causes. Date guys who are willing to make time for you on a consistent, regular basis IN PERSON and wait until you get to know them before you give up all the goods so easily. Take care.
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Well , you are falling heads over heels for this guy. I'd say go for the one that makes you most happier. This ex , if you do not like him , just forget about him and do not even worry about him , ignore him , but if you do like him , then go get him back. The online boyfriend , that is 50/50 chance because that is a long year till the start of next year and what are the chances of you guys working out if it is long distance like that , but as for it if you guy's really like eachother then go for it. I say just put the oonline boyfriend aside and see what happens , and that 34 year old guy , tell him everything you just said in this parapgrah trust me , then he knows exactly how you feel , and either way you will know what he has to say back , because if you do not tell him or show him , you will never know. Also , be strong , there is so many guy's out there do not even worry about it , plenty of fish in the sea. My advice to you is , forget about ex if you do not like him , if you still do then go back to him , for the online boyfriend keep going what is going on and just put him as a good option , and then 34 year old you should see if it will work out , talk to him about it. Honestly , best way to go , and also , you got back up so that's good.
Good luck girl : )
- Pick wisely
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dear stuck,
this is a hard situation. first of all i want to say that anytime you sleep or kiss someone you get attached, in some way, to them no matter what. They have a bond with you and you with them, even if it is a fling. It seems like he is not favoring the idea of dating you. distance scares guys because they are physical and generally need touch/sight to keep a connection with someone. If he doesn't contact you then he probably isn't interested. I wouldn't tell him you are in love him because it seems too soon and it will scare him away unless he is 100% sure he feels the same. I understand how you feel though. Just focus on other more-promising relationships and better yourself everyday. Someone better than him will come along and feel the same way as you.
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