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Girlfriend Trouble.
Im 18 male she is 21 female. So basically over the summer I fell in love with a girl i met in early july and finally asked her to be my girlfriend in august. We live 2 hours away and neither of us can drive. I spent 3 weeks in August at her house (she lives alone) and we had an amazing time. Although we argued a bit and stuff cause we dont know eachother that well. She just broke up with her boyfriend of a few years and I guess still has feelings for him or whatever. I only asked her out while I was there because I didnt know when we would see eachother again due to school for us. I told her multiple times i understand if she wants to say no right now because she still has feelings for her ex. I asked her out and a few days later she said yes. I truly love her with all my heart and give 100% into our relationship and I feel like she doesnt. She tells me she loves me and cares about me alot I know she does but sometimes it doesnt seem like it. While I was with her she hurt me a few times minorly but I told her right away. Anyways Im back home now and we are 2 hours away and I miss her like crazy. All I do is think about her and want to talk to her. I think I might come off to strong towards her its just I really deeply love her but I deffinally know she is not crying herself to sleep like I am. So My questions are. 1. How can I make our relationship better. 2. How can I stop missing her as much and calming myself down?.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It sounds like you have fallen in love with a girl that you have only known for a short time. This is wonderful.
It also sounds like you are being overly affectionate, needy, insecure, and demonstrating a lack of confidence. This is a recipe for disaster.
Here are some things you should know:
1. Being overly affectionate and intimate too early in a relationship is one of the biggest causes of breakups
2. There is a double standard here: men are expected to be more confident and stoic in a relationship (right or wrong it's part of our social background)
3. Women at her age are much more likely to avoid relationship problems than to try to fix them.
I think you should get out and do more with your free time if you want to stop missing her so much and calm down. Take music lessons, join a club, or hang out with friends. If you live in a part of the country where cars are the standard mode of transportation (read: not in a big city) then you need to go get your driver's license and a job so you can buy a car.
Lastly, I recommend that you get on David DeAngelo's mailing list (google him). He helped me with this sort of problem, he can help you.
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Well I agree with the other person about it takes two people to make the relationship better. You can not make the relationship better alone although you can do your part. If you do not get it in return then there is nothing you can do. About the coming off to strong, maybe you are in this case just seeing how she just broke up with her boyfriend of a few years. Since you both are two hours away there is absolutely no reason for you not to miss her however, realize that you both have seperate lives. Have fun with your friends to keep yourself from getting to worked up over missing her, but thinking about her is not a bad thing. Just do things that interests you in order to get your mind off of it. Even people that are in a relationship that live in the same house need time to their selves every once in a while.
Hope I could help. (:
---Taylor
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Well , you cannot make your relationship better with just one person , BOTH of you have to give 100% effort in order to make it work , think about it , if you put all your effort in towards her , and she just tells you and does not show it physically and/or mentally , it will obviously not work. I think maybe if you give her some space , but you should talk to her thourougly because that is the best way to talk things out to make your relationship better. I'll be honest with you , relationships do not work if one person does all the work , you need to somehow convince her , give her some e-mails , call her , show her more that you care , and if you really want show her some examples which make you sad , so that she knows. Also , let her come to you , you have to be patient , but to be honest/blunt I am not sure about this ex , because if she still has feelings for her ex , she is not in the right mind , and it will take a while for her to realise she is stupid to fall for him. Well ,you can stop missing her and calming yourself down by getting out of the house , going out with your friends , go play some video games , or anything like that , go out and party , bars , or whatever you have to do . Go out and meet new girls , honestly , you seem like a caring guy and you should get the same back , and if she is not showing any effort and you get in fights and especially if she likes and is still going on about her ex. There are so many other girls that are worth it , best medicine is get your friends , go out , and meet new girls , you never know. My advice to you is you can make her want you more by maybe showing some form of making her jealous back , see if she cares or not , let her see how it feels like , also , I think you should go and try your best out of the relationship , if nothing works , then wait for a signal. You can make the relationship better by showing more affection and showing how much your worth it , how much she is worth it. You can make you stop missing her as much and calming yourself down by going out , meeting new people , and surround youself with your things that interest you , rather then her. I think if she still is not over her ex and cannot notice a good guy like you , I would say it is her loss. There's lot's of good caring girls out there , you just have to find them.
Good luck boy! :)
- Do not let yourself down , you are doing everything perfect.
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