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Reconciliation for the second time and I just can't get over it


Question Posted Saturday September 4 2010, 12:49 am

This is going to be a long post. It has been 8 months now since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend who was my first lover (but I was not his first). I did reconciled him after his birthday in May over the telephone but I did not tell him how did I felt deep down inside me. Over the telephone, I told him that I can't be his friend just yet because I need the time to heal myself. He told me he understood what I am going through and he knows what to do right now (distance himself from me). On early of July, I went to Bangkok with my group of friends for 5 days (my ex was there too). Things got awkward at first, but I did not want to affect my friends who were stucked between us and acted as though I am okay and cool with the situation between my ex and I. We had fun clubbing, eating, gossiping and taking photos together.

After the trip, I did not contact my ex at all unil last week, out of the blues, my ex messaged me to ask me out for lunch when I was working. He was still the same, ordering food for me like what he did when we were couples and it was his treat for the lunch. I did not think much and took it as though how a normal friend treats you.

Then 3 days later, I heard rumours that my ex is going after a girl but they are still not hooked up yet. I felt hurt, sad and hopeless like how I felt after I broke up with him. So I messaged him after having a drink at the bar and told him that I do not want to follow him down for work on thursday because I do not want that girl to misunderstand our relationship. My ex told me that "who told you I am after her? we are just friends. u're thinking too much" and the very next day, his best friend finds me on messenger. His best friend told me that my ex called him to tell him about that girl, he wants to get to know her first before making any moves (try to understand her, compatible anot when they were together). I do not know who to trust at that moment and my feelings of getting hurt and sad came back.

Then I tried to reach out to my ex by asking him to fetch me down to my workplace to settle my stuffs on thursday and he agreed but he has to settle his work first before sending me to my workplace. I went to alot of places with him to finish up his work and we did talk alot of things during our journey from his family, to his business and also his friends. During lunch time, I was suppose to treat his a big meal since I still owe him but it ended up he paid for the meal and he asked me to take it as I was accompanying him that day. He did remind me alot of things, he told me that my christmas present for him was the most outstanding colour and nice design out of his other underwears. And I noticed that he always flirts with me by touching my hand, arms and also thigh. I also noticed that when I was having lunch with him that day, he looked on my neck to see what necklace was I wearing. I did not wear the necklace he bought for me on my birthday.

When his mom called him, he was jokingly saying that his mom asked me to stay for dinner with them. Then he was supposed to fetched me home, but he asked me whether I was in the rush to go home anot because he asked me to go for a movie or to go out for a walk with him before sending me home. He even told me that he can be that particular someone to taste my food since I know how to cook now because he's my boyfriend. He even gave me a mysterious smile when he sent me back home and said I still owe him a big meal. I thought of treating him during lunch, but he rejected and told me next time, you will see. My ex also did questioned and tried asking me who am I dating right now but I made him curious by not letting him know. But when it comes to me teasing him with that girl, he went again "she is just a fren".

Does a normal friend treat their friends this way? Or I should put it in a way does ex treat their other exes that way? I do want to reconcile him again, whats with those flirting!! My other friends who are boys never flirt with me that way!! Is he still keeping tabs on me because our break up din really go well, we did not have a proper closure. I really do not know what his actions really meant or am I too sensitive in handling all this signs that he is giving me?


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nicolegreenie answered Monday September 6 2010, 4:31 pm:
he should be able to tell you how it is with that girl or not. you dated him and not his friend so if i were you i would trust him more and not his friend. he is probably keeping tabs on you and possibly thinking about getting back together. i only ask exes about who their dating if i am thinking about starting the relationship back up. he might just care about you and want to see you happy so he is asking about who you're dating. he is obviously showing signs of interest. a man will not pay for your meal unless they know there is some potential, either relationship or a great friend. some people feel like they should pay if it's their idea to go out to eat, especially if its one on one.

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Jad answered Saturday September 4 2010, 4:51 am:
The guy still likes you! Rumors aren't always true you know... dont listen to them! try to reconcile with him again.tell him how u feel and of course he'll say yes

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