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Family cannot get over the fact that I'm Atheist
19/f
I'm an Atheist and it's something about me that I consider pretty well known amongst my family. My parents know, and don't really care, because they respect me enough as an adult to not let minor things like religion come between us. However, a couple of my other family members can't seem to get over it.
I have no issue with people who are religious, and I'm really very civil towards them, and will continue to be until they start to treat me differently or until they start pushing their beliefs down my throat. I just want to be respected the same way that I respect them. Just because I don't believe in God, it doesn't mean that I'm not a good person. I am. I work everyday, I donate clothes to those who need it, and the majority of the time, I do give money to the homeless. I have morals, and standards, and I make my personal decisions to the best of my ability. But my family members seem to think that because I'm Atheist that I cannot do or have any of those things.
I wanna know how I can get them off of my back. I'm never going to stop being who I am, and I'm certainly not going to change because they disagree with me, but it's getting to the point where they've stopped being civil with me because we have a differing belief. They keep making snide comments, and it's really starting to anger me. I've been over the whole thing, but with them constantly bringing it up and berating me because of it, it's getting hard to ignore and I really am trying hard to keep from snapping.
Any ideas on what I should do?
Thanks in advance!
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Many different religions believe that they should not interact with non-believers very much. This is so that they do not get swept up into another person's thoughts versus God's commandments and what have you. People are a big influence on everything in our lives so many religions believe that associating primarily with only other believers will help to increase their trust and belief in God. It's sort-of a way to continue the strong bond between God and believer.
No true Christian will want to see another person get sent to Hell. Sure, we're human and so we suffer from bouts of anger, frustration, greed, etc. but deep down inside we shouldn't want another person to suffer just because we disagree with their ways. The way I see it is that they don't want to see you or anyone else come to harm so they do what they feel will work to change the situation.
Making snide remarks may be the only way they feel they can cope with this sin. They may even feel that the comments will push you into believing again and being spared from the depths of Hell. Making these verbal comments allow them to send a message to other surrounding believers that you may be doing something sinful. It seems that many Christians do feel that pressure will solve such sinful problems.
They aren't going to change what they believe and you sound as if you're not open to believing anything differently either.
If they believe what you're doing could send you, their loved ones, their children, or even themselves into a deep, dark pit of firey Hell...do you think they want to risk it just so you feel included and accepted?
Simply step away. Stop associating with these people. Let them live their lives and worship who they want to worship.
Sure, they're family, but trying to make amends when the problem is your entire belief system (and neither side is willing to budge, of course) is only prodding for more of a problem. The problem cannot be solved unless one side changes. In this case, neither is willing so there isn't much else to be done about it.
Simply ignore the comments and move on with your life. If they don't have a great impact on your day-to-day basis right now then don't start letting them interfere negatively.
When you choose to be something like an atheist then you should realize that many people will disagree with you. Some people will not understand, some people will think of you very differently, and some people aren't going to think twice about it and remain just the same to you. You cannot change how other people feel about atheism, especially when their entire belief system is so strongly against it.
If you confront these people then nothing much will likely happen. They may view your confrontation as something worse than it is. You may lose your cool and do something very stupid in the heat of the moment. Confronting them simply is not what needs to "happen" for change to occur.
Chalk this up to life. They believe that you are sinful and, for the most part, should be outcast so that you do not bring sin to their children and loved ones.
You believe that you're doing nothing against, well, anything. You're happy and satisfied in this belief and refuse to budge. Understandable.
Nothing will change unless one side does.
Ignore the comments and move on with your life. Being 19, you probably have the ability to now move away and cut down on association to these people. Apartments, especially for college-aged people, are quite affordable now. You can CHOOSE to not go to many family functions where these people may be. Being 19, you have a lot of power in this situation to move away from this entire issue and on what where you want your life to head.
Don't believe that all Christians are like your family. Your family may actually mean well by what they are doing. They may be in such fear that you are going to be sent to eternal damnation that they are verbally saying, "You are wrong! Please, stop! Get help! Save yourself now while you can!" They might just not have the tact to explain this to you more directly. You should expect Christians to want you to live a good, wholesome life that includes a relationship with God. That is what they believe and that is fine and dandy to believe. There is nothing wrong with having a strong belief system, especially when it entails wanting the best for other people, too. Some people, Christian or not, simply do not have the best communication skills to say, "Hey...I care about you. What you're telling me scares me a lot because it goes against every single thing I believe in. I believe that what you're telling me can cause a whole lot of pain and suffering. I don't want you to be hurt."
Just move on, move out, and move away.
P.S. In grasping a better understanding on the belief systems you may want to choose to pick up a copy of the Bible and begin reading it. This way you can understand their prospective in what you're telling them about not believing.
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Well that's your choice right. Don't worry about it and breathe it out. There acting like this because their so focussed on their own religion that they become narrow minded or/and closed minded, it is normal. You sound like a good girl and god bless you. But , I think getting off them off your back , you need to not argue , just got with the flow , they will realize they aren't being civil to you. That's good your trying it shows you care , I think you should really sit down and talk to them either like one or two of them and explain to them, make a list of the important things and talk about it. They will accept you the way you are don't worry they have they just can't justify to it. Don't have your hopes down , people tend to be this way and it's okay. You need to relax and don't bring it up so much. Focus on other topics , show them your just as good as they are right in front of their eyes.
Good luck : )
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