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Hooking up with my ex, and have sex with his friends?
Alright, this might be confusing but bare with me.
Tomorrow my ex-boyfriend wants to hook up(like have a reunion, as he calls it...). Mean while, two of his best friends are bugging me about hooking up with them. Now, my ex isnt expecting to have sex, but his other two friends are. My ex doesnt know his friends are asking me to have sex with them, because if hes knew then hed hate them(because hes very possessive of me...) Meanwhile, if i hook up with my ex, some people(friends included) could potentionally be upset with me. PLUS i might start liking my ex again, which i dont want to like to happen. But i have trouble saying no. Like i dont really want to have sex with my ex's two friends, but i can't say no. And if i say no to my ex, he would probably stop talking to me...and thatd hurt me alot because i love talking to him. Thing is i do want to have sex. But with his friends? And hook up with my ex? I dont know what to do...all i know is that if i end up hooking up with all of them, I'd feel like a hoe...help me pleaseeeee
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
you need to say no and if they respect you as a woman, as a person then fine, if not, you dont really need them in your life....want attention? buy a dog...want a reputation that is not good...listen to the boys....
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Don't have sex with any of them. In fact, don't have sex at all until you've got your mind sorted out.
Your ex is your ex. You're not dating him, so he doesn't have access to you anymore as anything more than an acquaintance. He can't be possessive, because he gave you up (or you gave him up). You are not any man's possession, and certainly not his. Your friends are right to be upset with you; if you put yourself in this position, it's a sure path to heartbreak and misery, and they're going to have to be there with you despite their warnings. Your ex can't handle you saying no to him? Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say. He's not worth the air that he breathes if he treats you like that.
Don't have sex with the two guys. They're 'expecting' to have sex with you? You can't say no? I'll do it for you, right here, right now. No. No no, no no no no no NO. They're not dating you. They clearly don't respect you. They think you're an object, and you allowing them to believe that makes you into one. They're looking for an easy thing, and they're finding it in you.
Remember that you're a human being. You deserve to be loved, respected and treated well. If a man wants to have sex with you, he should be putting in some effort, not just "Hey let's have sex". He should care about you. You're not there to take care of mens' sexual urges. That's what their hands are for.
You feel that if you say no, then you are less desirable as a person. In fact, it's the opposite. If you say yes to everyone, then you end up being thought of as the doormat, the girl with low self esteem, the one who is too dumb to say no. If you try to please everyone, then you end up pleasing nobody. Please yourself!
I would suggest that you seek counselling to deal with the whole 'no' issue. If you're in high school or college, your guidance counselor can help you. You need to learn to view yourself as a valuable human being who deserves an input when it comes to life decisions. They can really help with that, and find the reasons behind what you do.
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Your "ex" doesn't sound like your ex at all - he's "very possessive" of you? That sounds like a current boyfriend to me. It doesn't sound like he can handle a more casual relationship, and I think he actually does want sex. I'd recommend dumping him completely and getting a clean start with somebody.
As for his friends - do you want to have sex with them? If you do, then go ahead - hell, do both of them at once. If you don't, then don't. I don't understand this "trouble saying no" thing. What do YOU want? Figure that out, then do it.
Best of luck.
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