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We're fron different worlds but she wants to be best friends
I want to know if I should say something to a girlfriend that keeps throwing herself at ANY man hoping they will give her attention. Also she begs anyone for "freebie". I am a business woman and she will try to ask business service people and/or businesses to give her a free T shirt and if they say they can't she will start begging them. It's embassasing and plus she is all over them, starved for attention. I'm thinking of dumping her as a friend because she acts so needy and inappropriate that it's embassassing. We're both married in our mid-50's. She is my neighbor & when we leave for a weekend she comes over and feeds our dog which we pay her for. Also she has my 2 30'ish sons as Facebook friends and keeps contact with them alot. She is kind of obssessed with me and wants to be my best friend but I have other friends from my business woman circle and don't know how to distance my relationship with her without hurting her feelings. She calls me on the phone everyday and sometimes just shows up at my house, staying for hours until all my beer is gone and I say I have to leave for errands so she will have to leave.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I'm much younger than you but have had these problems myself.
While saying something to her about her behavior might change things for the "now" it isn't going to change who she is. She will, eventually, go back to her normal routine if, indeed, she does actually listen to you. The likelihood that this sort of confrontation will not end up in a "fight" of sorts is not good though.
Personally, I would take steps to start pulling away from her. I wouldn't say, "I don't want to be your friend," but I would express the inability to make time for her in my life.
She comes over to stay for a few hours?
You respond, at the door, "I'm sorry. I'm really busy right now and I don't want to have company."
If she insists, then YOU insist that she cannot come inside. Stay firm and direct.
"I am busy. I do not have time to chat."
"I am doing important things right now and do not want guests."
"I am busy with some important things. Maybe we'll talk later or something when I have the time."
She calls you on the phone and you simply don't want to chat?
You respond, right away, "I'm sorry but I'm really busy right now and don't really want to chat let alone have the time. I'm sure we'll catch up another time."
"I am too busy to chat right now."
"I am in an important situation and don't have time to chit-chat with you. We'll talk again another time."
She will get the hint.
You're a grown woman. She's a grown woman.
Unfortunately, it sounds like she hasn't matured past age 15. If you confront her about this directly then she is probably going to make a scene. She will, most likely, stop being obsessed with you then--but she may begin to do childish things such has spread untrue rumors about you throughout the neighborhood.
Politely excuse her from your own life. Always be kind but direct in saying you do not have time for her in whatever context.
If you still want to remain distant friends with her then take a phone call from her every once in awhile or allow her to visit for a few hours once a week.
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