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How to make friends as the new girl in town?
This is kinda long but I want you to fully get where I'm coming from.. and I greatly appreciate all answers because I have nobody else to ask for help about this.
My family moved to a new town in Texas, all the way from New Jersey. Even though I've been here since March I still feel like the new girl. I'm 16 btw. So far its summer vacation and I've only hung out with a girl from school once. The rest of my summer I've pretty much spent at home on the computer, at volleyball practice, or visiting relatives. I don't want my entire summer to be a waste.. how do I make friends with people? Should I always be the one inviting them for things?
One of my regrets for the summer is I tried inviting a group of people to a concert and I said my mom could pay for it so they should give me the money, and she would only buy tickets once she got the money from everyone. But they gave me the money too late and the show sold out. I hope they still aren't mad for me for that.. but it wasn't my fault cause I kept reminding them about it. Next time everyone's gonna have to buy their own tickets themselves. But I dont know if because of that those girls don't want to hang out with me anymore, cause they really did want to go to the concert but I gave them over a week to give the money and they gave me the night before the show.
I dont know what to do now.. I cant just keep inviting them for concerts and thats the only time I see them. But those people I invited were nice and I hung out with them during school.. you think they are still holding the concert thing against me? And.. I guess Im pretty socially inept.. I was pretty bad with this sort of thing in my old town too. I live in a big neighborhood and I know a couple girls from school who live here. Should I just ring their doorbell and be like "hey, wanna hang out?" but what do we do.. just walk around the neighborhood? Its sad but in my life I have little "friend experience" like that.. I don't know why cause I think Im a cool person I guess but people didn't really invite me for things so I didnt have the confidence to invite them either.. I feel like I dont know what to do.
I cant invite people to my house cause there's nothing to do but watch tv or go on the computer.. we still need to buy a lot of stuff for our new house cause its bigger than my old one. So should I just randomly invite people I think are nice to movies and the mall and etc? Ive never even been to the mall with friends before. Do you just walk around and just look at clothes? Sorry if this sounds pathetic.. ugh. Im a very social person so I dont even know how Im in this situation.
Im going to be on the school's volleyball team too and over the summer we have practices but I feel awkward around them because they all know each other cause its a small school, and I just moved from a big school so Im not really used to that. Like they have their conversations and I dont want to intrude, also cause I don't really know what they're talking about. And then I hope they don't think Im shy cause I dont talk alot cause of it. Their parents are really nice and in my old school the volleyball parents were just to themselves.. I guess its just the Southern hospitality thing? But it makes me awkward that the parents are so nice and welcoming like that.
Ugh what can I do to make friends in this place? How do I set up hanging out with people? Like do I just text them and say "hey wanna hang out?" then what next? I want this summer to actually be fun cause most summers I've just been in my house but NOT THIS ONE. I still have a little more than a month. Help me please!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Dude, I was totally in the same situation. See, my dad's in the military, so we moved around alot. When my family went to El Paso, TX, I had no friends. Zip, nada. And I had idea how to make them. It's not as easy once you get older. You can't just be like " Hey, you wanna color this picture of a butterfly with me?" like you could in elementary.
But Ive realized ( through tried-and-true methods) a few things that I find to be important in the friend business:
1) you can hang out ANYWHERE. It doesnt matter, as long as you are an interesting person. You just have to have an excuse. Let me explain what I mean. It's fine to just walk around with somebody, just tell them that you were craving some fresh air or something and wanted to know if they'd like to come.
2) humor goes a loooong way. It lightens the mood and makes people more comfortable around you.
3)when youre talking to some one, they like to know youre interested or that you have an opinion on the matter. Don't think that you always have to agree with who ever youre with. Be honest ( not brutally honest though) and voice what you think.
4)Remember what your parents told you when you were itty bitty and BE NICE. Nobody likes a complete jerk.
well, good luck!!! Here's my email if you need anything else:
bee_pee_tee421@yahoo.com
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Volenteer or get a job summer job somewhere where there are alot of teens your age. you said your on a team maybe you can bake cookies for everyone one day not saying you have to buy friendship or kiss ass but they will remeber you as the nice girl who bought us the cookies. or you can organize or suggest that the team have movie night. get everyones facebook and myspace. and put out a mass e-mail for you to all go bowling or something. and don't be a afraid to talk to your team members YOUR A TEAM. There is no I in team. If one of you falls you all fall. You have to work together there should be no clicks. thats what makes a good team. don't be shy come out of your shell its great that your on a summer team thats your ticket to start getting new friends right there.
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just go up to them and well just say your name ask them if they want to walk around or play a game or just talk about music or games or tv shows
and i m new to this thing so please don't get mad
if i say some thing wrong so even if they say no maybe later ask them for there number or something
and maybe add them on face book myspace but it's not easy for most people but i had that problem and i just walk up to people now and it gets easyer ever time so stike to it and go make some friends sorry if i did bad
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