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Need to break away from my adult sibling and move out after 12 years.
I am 36 years old Female and I have been living with my 34 year old sister for 12 years. Neither of us have ever had a boyfriend and I feel that we hold each other back. I have been feeling trapped and I don't feel that I could move out because it would really upset her and I don't want her to hate me for leaving or feel abandoned. But I really need to leave or else I think I never will. My leaving would not only hurt her but also my parents and other sibling ( who lives with us when she is in school). How should I tell them? I keep things to myself so this will be a total shock to them. I'm scared.... Help! Our lease is up in September. (FYI)
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This is going to be a difficult transition, but you already know you have to do it. At some point you have to decide to live your life for yourself, not for your family. Of course they will be disappointed and maybe even angry. And maybe they won't understand your decision and be upset. You have to make it up in your mind to be ok with that. Eventually, they will get over it, but for now, you might just have to be brave and do your best to handle their anger. You are right to feel that living with your sister has been holding you both back. You are doing not only what is right for you, but right for her as well. You both need to be your own people and come to know yourselves better. That will breed confidence and confidence is attractive. Make your plans to leave. Plan a time to sit down and explain yourself to your family. If it helps, write out a list of things you want them to know about your decision, just to make sure you don't forget anything and you can stay on target. Explain yourself calmly and rationally. If they get angry, let them have their say but DON'T change your mind. Your heart is telling you its time to grow up. Don't let your family keep you from doing that. You can still love and support them and love yourself at the same time. This is about YOU, not THEM! Good luck. You can do this! It will be scary, but exciting too!
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