|
hes sobering up for me but im unsure if its worth it..
a guy i like asked me to go to the movies with him and always picks me up and is so sweet, i do really like him hes perfect, but hes ben a druggie for a few years and finally sobering up. my friends dont like him around, my best friend gravely hates him, and we dodge my mom because hes always smelt of smoke. yet two of my girls who see me with him like him cuz theyv seen his sweet side.
that sounds very harsh but hes sobering up for me, and hes so protective of me so i dont get into drugs and from other guys. he is a pure gentleman, picks me up, tries to pay, holds me like im his world. i always told him i wont kiss a smoker when hed ask tho, iv never kissed him.
yet he picked me up n we went with his friends out to eat one day a while back, he got high and wouldnt drive me home he left to party, i had one of his friends drive me home and we got lost. il never forget that. hes the sweetest guy in the world now though, idc that he was a druggie, but then i look back at it.. i do really like him but should i try and move on? does the good outweigh the bad? does the past matter? am i over reacting? any advice on this topic. 16/f
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I used to date a girl with a drug problem. She reeked of smoke all the time, kissing her was like kissing an ashtray, and she wasn't the same person. She stopped taking care of herself, and she was out of it all the time. It wasn't worth it to stay with her just because I loved her before she took up smoking. Smoking made her dull and slow and stupid. I wanted to have a real conversation with her, but she turned into a vapid, empty shell of a human being. Dump this guy. No matter how great he is, wait until after he's sober to pursue anything.
]
I agree with snarky. I just want to add that even when he gets sober (average relapses is 3 times), he will be a totally different person. Better or worse, he will just be a different guy.
Most relationships do not survive if one person was abusing drugs or alcohol when the relationship started. That person ceases to exist once sober.
Even with the best of intentions, he can't sober up for you. He has to do it for himself or it will not work. So do not feel guilty should you decide to move on. And don't wait until he has recovered to move on. Do it now and avoid that all together.
Good luck.
]
This gentleman certainly does have a colorful past. And ANY addiction, not just a drug addiction, is very difficult to overcome. Many relapses happen, and often these people (even if everything else about them is "good") are completely unstable individuals, which is why they develop addictions so easily. I'm glad he treats you with the utmost respect, I really am, but my advice to you is to move on and spare yourself anymore emotional damage.
If you'd like to be his friend and offer support, do so by all means. But do NOT let him weasel his way back into your heart. Keep your distance. I'm not saying cut ties with him and that he'll never change, but if you ever want something long-term with him, you need to wait until he's sober for quite some time. This is only a trial period in his life right now, and you don't need this turmoil in yours when there are plenty more fish in the sea, with less complications attached.
]
More Questions: |