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We have both cheated and he is still with someone else and has kids... do I give up?
ok my question envolves 4 people. i was with my ex bf for 2 years. about a year in the realtionship i slept with a ex co worker of his which was our friend. and stayed sleepin with him through the rest of the relationship. to this day i still am. so for a year i cheated, but hey i enjoyed it. after a month of cheating i began to gain feelings for this guy. this guy also has a girlfriend that he has had for 6 years. so for 14 months we both cheated with eachother. i had my bf and he had his gf. neigther one of our partners kno whats goin on. i feel that i now have loved him for a while, he tells me he loves me also. he says he gets jealous when i talk to another guy. i kno i want to be with him but his gf is blockin that from happening. oh by the way i am 22 and the guy is 37. i believe he really cares about me but i cant seem to win him over. he is only with the gf because she has insurance for his 2 kids. like i said i love him and i kno i do and i cant just give up on him. not after a year of this has been goin on. my question is do you think i should give up when i kno there is a chance of winnin him over or should i keep up with my heart? he is all i think about, i have been singel for 6 months now (other than him) and everyone i talk to.. its not the same and when he finds out it hurts him. i cant really get involve with anyone because when i talk to someone or hold someone i see him not the new person. but like i asked what should i do? stay with him or give up?
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You know, I wouldn't wish what is coming on anyone, but it really is hard not to say that you two deserve each other.
Let me ask you this: He is cheating on you, with another girl... his girlfriend. Does this bother you?
If he does ever leave her, which he probably will not, then when you are "the girlfriend" he WILL be cheating on you. How can I know this? Well, because he knows you are a cheater, he has zero respect for you and I can prove it.
If he had any respect for you, he would choose one way or the other. You or the the person he chose to take care of his children. If he thought you would be a better mom, he would have already left her for you.
He doesn't pick, because he KNOWS that as long as any time you go out with another guy all he has to do is act hurt and he can keep sexing you, the girl he wants taking care of his kids, and probably a couple more girls you don't even know about yet.
You know, I don't have anything against you and I mean this from the best possible place: Please wise up before you end up in your 50s still waiting for some guy who is just using you. Please.
In ten years, you are probably going to look back on this as the single worst thing you have done in your life, and wonder what in the WORLD you were thinking. I would say anything to spare you that, but I don't know anything else to say except for something that doesn't sound very nice:
Please have some respect for yourself. If you don't have respect for yourself, I promise you that nobody else you are with is going to respect you either.
Please think about your life in 10 years if you keep cheating and encouraging someone else to cheat on you... It isn't pretty. Please don't end up there.
Please?
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Well, i'd just like to point somethin out to ya, If he is with his gf now, and is cheating on her with you, then if you two ever got together, what would stop him from cheating on you with another girl too??? I'm not saying he will do that, im just saying he could. I say give up. I know it'd be hard since you have true feelings about this man. But i think the best choice would be to give up. More than likely if he is still with his girlfriend now, he will continue to stay with her. But it's your choice to make on what to do. I wish you best of luck!
-J
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I say you should give up. It's not fair that he gets jealous when you talk to other guys while he has his girl. His gf is eventually gonna start wondering why he isn't proposing to get since they've been together for so long and they have children together. If you end up ignoring my advice and just decide to follow your heart, you're just gonna get more attatched to him and things will get even more complicated. I wish you the best of luck.
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