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Do guys care that you dont want to have sex with them?
I just started dating my boyfriend 2 months ago. He's a pretty good guy but he bought up sex nearly a week ago and about how he's horny a lot of times. I know he's trying to signal me to see if I'm ready to do it with him but I'm not.
The truth is, I don't want to have sex while I'm young. I'd rather wait until I'm married and ready for the responsibility. I probably sound absolutely retarded saying that in this day and age but god we're only 16 and I just couldn't handle if something went wrong and I got pregnant or...just something, you know?
Anyway, does he really care about me or do you think he's just after sex? Will he care if I tell him I don't ever plan to have sex with him unless get get married or something? Should I tell him that? I'm really confused and I'm afraid that dating him is a bad decision if he's already talking about this stuff 2 months into it, y'know? Gosh, I just need some advice on this...please help...
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Not wanting to have sex is your prerogative and 100% your choice. There is certainly a chance that he's not going to want to continue the relationship if he knows you're not going to sleep with him in the foreseeable future. And that's a common reason that couples break up: not being on the same page, wanting different things, differing sexual needs.
So I'd talk to him, let him know where he stands with you on the subject of sex and see what he does with this information. Or you could end it yourself if you think you and he want different things out of each other.
Not wanting to have sex at 16 is perfectly normal. You can wait however long you want, and if you're waiting for marriage, that's your choice. And it will be your boyfriends choices down the road whether they also want to wait or find someone more compatible with their interests, you know? This is something that ought to be discussed.
As for whether he cares about you or just wants sex, it's possible that either A. the answer is just sex or B. the answer is both. A guy who cares about you will wait quite some time. But expecting a teenage boy to wait till marriage (Years and years) if he's ready to have sex now... well... dollars to doughnuts, that's not going to happen. You're better off only dating casually at this stage of your life if you're not ready for physical intimacy.
Serious relationships (the kind you'll have as you get older) tend to include sex. It's a very natural desire. So until you're ready to consider a sex life, don't enter serious relationships. It'll be easier on you.
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It's definitely not weird that you want to wait. If that is what you want to do you should. I would talk to him though. You need to tell him what your plans are so you are both on the same page about sex and he doesn't assume or expect anything else. Let him know specifically what you will and will not do.
It's not a bad sign that he's already talking about sex. He just doesn't know what you are thinking.
A lot of guys your age are not necessarily in a relationship to eventually get married they want experiences (possibly sexual, and thats not necessarily bad) but there are some guys out there who are in it for a serious relationship. Talk to him and he will let you know what he's in it for and then you will know if you are on the same page.
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Well done you for being clear on your values and what you do and don't want to do.
I think you need to make it really clear to your boyfriend where he stands. Don't wait until he next brings it up, just explain to him that you aren't ready for sex and probably won't be until you're much older. If he genuinely cares about you, he should respect that and drop the subject.
No one has the right to pressure you into having sex. If he can't respect your decision and continues to push the subject, or breaks up with you for not doing it, then he is NOT worth it. A relationship with someone who refuses to respect your values is not a good relationship.
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