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NEED HELP!!! online offline .....
first of all i am 15f and this may be long but it would be GREATLY appreciated if you would listen and respond! i neeed all the advice i can get :)
~so i have been best friends with this guy for a year. we talk EVERY DAY online and have been doing so for 6 months EVERY DAY. and he has asked me out 2 times and i have turned him down because i said i wanted our friendship to last and it was to valuable. well.... he has just recently said he has loved me, and would do anything, and always says i am beautiful, and cheers me up when i am down and he even brought me back a present from his trip to europe. well i reallllllllllly like him back but the problem is that i dont wanna tell him cause i have turned him down like 4 times and broken his heart he said but yet he still says all this stuff to me because he says i am to important. But the thing is this is online. in person we hang out and talk but not like we do online. and in person it is harder to basically do anything. he gets shy around me and barely talks in person now but online he is the SWEETEST guy their is! i have never met a nicer guy in my life! i want things to work out sooooo badly but in reality i dont think it will ever happen :( but we both want it to ..... so 1) how do i tell him i feel this way ..... 2) how can we make it work if he does wanna try? I AM LOSING MY HEAD OVER THIS PLEASE RESPOND AND GIVE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE RELATIONSHIP .... cause right now we are like beyond best friends but not at the boyfriend and girlfriend stage.
thank you !!! :)
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He's 15! Of course he's going to be a little shy about telling you how much he likes you face-to-face. Especially after you've turned him down more than once. He got enough guts to say it to you, faceless, over the internet and you crushed his idea of ever being with you. Of course he isn't going to be all romantic sweetie with you in public.
Get real and just talk to him. Call him on the phone or do it in person. He's young and maybe has never even had a girlfriend before. Give the guy a chance if that's what you want.
Out of what you've said, you have more problems than he does. Sure, he tells you all of these sweet things online but doesn't do it in public. You told him you wouldn't go out with him time and time again but sound like you're just as head over heels for him.
It's time to stop making him chase you and confront him. Not online. In person or one the phone to make it more personable. He needs you to stand up and take charge at this moment because he's just so confused. Wouldn't you be confused too? Yep.
"Hi. I know I said I didn't want to date you but we've been talking so much and I think something is really blooming between us online. I really am feeling a strong connection. Maybe we could take the online flirting offline...and be more together with it? I'd love to be your girlfriend. You are so sweet and every time we're together I just wish we could hug, kiss, and hold hands. I want the romance offline now. I think we're a good match after all."
You're doing the same thing he is doing. You're shying away from the reality of it. He desperately wants to be romantic with you in person--but how is he going to do that if he fails at doing it online even? If you push him away online...who the hell wants to be pushed away face-to-face? He's hiding because he doesn't want you to hurt his feelings. He doesn't want you to see him cry and break-down. It's a normal 15-year-old thing.
Step up and confront him about it.
Give him time to warm up to the new scene. Start hugging him in person. Sometimes YOU have to make the move so that he knows everything is OK and is working out right. He'll open up in time and before you know you won't even remember the difference between his online and offline personalities.
If you just can't bring yourself to doing this then you need to break off the online flirting with him. You need to stop the chats because something, even just a small glimmer, if giving him the impression that he MIGHT, SOMEHOW, SOMEDAY have a chance with you. If he doesn't then you need to break it off before it begins. If he does, then it's time to stop playing games and hoping he tries to jump your bones in public ;)
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Friendships are important, so i understand why you said no.. But one thing you need to think about is, do you REALLY like him, or did you just start to like him because he flirts?
Andd, even though you've turned him down or broken his heart, trust me, he will be happy to hear that you want to give him a shot. What i would do, is Ask him if he remembers when he asked you out and you said no because your friendship was too valuable. When he says yes, tell him that you really like him, and you tried to just stay friends because thats what YOU told HIM. Tellh im that you think he is soo sweet, that he brings you up when you're down, tell him that he makes you feel like you are the most important girl on the earth. And tell him that if he wants to date you, that you wanna give it a try(:
Andd it sounds like he is just shyy. It's probably easier for him to tell you the things online easier than offline, because if you happen to go off on him, or say something he didn't want to hear. You wldnt see his reaction.. but in person, he has to see your reaction, and he's probably afraid it's not going to turn out how he wants it to. I think that problem will change if you start dating him.
Some random advice: Alot of guys are jerks. Sounds like you found an exception.. Hang on to him..
&& if you happen to go out, and something goes wrong and you break up, keep your friendship(:
Hope this helped, good luck!!(:
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You're smart for saying no. First off I would bring up the issue of how things are different offline and online. That seems like it's the biggest issue. What I would say is, "I like you, but you're totally different in person, and I dont know if it's going to work out because of it. I dont want to ruin what we have by dating."
Honesty is key to any relationship; Let that be the rule you go by with this guy.
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