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i dont like who i am anymore
i dont like who i am, i joined the military about a year ago, and have done a few months at my first duty station, i hate every day, i hate oklahoma, and for some reason i thought i would make friends here, but to no avail. i sit in my room all weekend by myself, my roomate doesnt even seem to want to talk to me, although i have tried. I HATE my life, and whi i am. i wish i wasnt me anymore and it kills me...
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
You are obviously a bit irritated by your situation, if I may ask... why did you decide to join the Military in the first place? did you want to get away from something? or did you just join because it felt like it was the right thing to do?
- My advice since you are under a contract at the moment is to hang in there. Things might be very hectic and out of place for you right now but coming up with ways to improve your experience might do you justice at the moment. What I mean is to take the time to just sit down and think to yourself of the different ways/things you can do to make this experience a better one.
- to help you out a bit here are some ideas... try talking/ approach people that look like they are friendly... tell them how they are liking their experience or just start of a simple conversation as simple as talking about the weather and or video games etc. anything that you might think might be a topic of common interest to the person you are trying to be-friend would be a great start to a new friendship.
- If you want to talk more about this I would not mind if you message me a question or your thoughts on anything else that is bothering you concerning your question.
Best Always,
trueadvice3
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I don't think it's so much that you hate who you are but more your worried why people don't approve of you the way you do yourself and it's makin you insecure,
I think you still love your self just fine, but wish everyone else did too and I'm sure they do but maybe you come off as an unapproachable person,
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
The Military is what you make of it. Being assigned to a new base is like moving to a new school or neighborhood. You are the new guy on the block and everyone else has their friends already. You have to find where you fit in.
Oklahoma is not the easiest place to make friends I’ll grant you that but if you approach it right you can do it. You may not be a religious person but the best way to meet people is to attend local religious services for the faith of your choosing. Towns’ people are not always welcoming of a Military Base as a whole but when someone new attends their religious service they usually go out of their way to welcome them. Once they get to know you as a person the fact that you are from the base usually does not enter into the equation other than people start inviting you to their home rather than see you spend time alone on the base. They help you get active in their youth groups and even push their children your age to introduce you to their friends. For me it was like having a second family.
Another way is to look at what your other interests. If you make a list, mental or on paper and with a little research, you’ll find there are probably plenty of activities both on and off base that are of interest to you. They could be car clubs, motor cycle clubs, hiking and nature clubs and the list is almost endless. I myself had been a volunteer fire fighter back home. I walked into the local off base fire station and was welcomed with open arms. The military would not allow me to run calls with them the fire fighter allowed me hang out and ride with them.
Life is what you make of it; if you want to sit around your room all weekend and evenings, that’s your choice. You have to choose to make friends not wait for people to make friends with you. In other words you have to take a proactive approach to meeting people. You cannot and should not try to force yourself on people but just get active in the different activities that are available that are of interest to you. Once people get comfortable with who you are friendships will blossom.
I hope I have helped you and thank you for serving in the Military.
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