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problems opening up
i dated a guy for 15 months and i got way too close to him and so when we broke up i was really hurt. about 4 months after we broke up i met this really nice guy and i gave it a shot with him. i ended it after 2 months because i was afraid of getting too close. i'm afraid of opening up and i'm afraid of getting to close. is there anything i can do about this? i really want a healthy relationship but i can't when i'm always backing down.. :/
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Heartbreak is always hard to deal with, especially the first time. Four months is a very short time to get over an intense 15 month relationship. It's okay to take some time away from dating and to focus on yourself. Sometimes it takes being single for a while to realise what you really want from a relationship and to be ready to take that plunge again.
Relationships can be great and fulfilling but they do come with a health warning. All relationships have the potential to fail and it's a very lucky person who meets 'the one' first time and never gets hurt.
Having said that, every guy you meet has the potential to be that special person who's right for you. Ending relationships because you're afraid of getting hurt means you're potentially losing out on a brilliant one.
So next time you meet a guy and you feel ready to date, go in there thinking 'this could end badly, but it could also be the best thing that's ever happened to me' and remember that every disappointment teaches you something.
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In a way, I'm the same. I dated a guy for a year, and he TRIED cheating on me, and then i dated this other guy who lied, acted like we weren't even dating, and played SOO many games! Now I just have this idea that ALL guys are jerks. I mean, i guess I know that there are some guys worth giving a heart to, but until one guy proves it to me, All guys are jerks. In a future relationship, I decided I wasn't even taking it seriously until that certain guy proves to me that I'm his everything. Because those two guys ruined me.
If you want to continue dating, i would suggest the same idea. Don't date somebody until you know them, be friends with them first. Dont just date a stranger and give them your heart. You will ALWAYS end up with it broken, tht way. When you do find a guy that you really like, don't give him your everything until he gives you his. if he tells you he loves you, make it prove it. If he says he'd give anything up for you, break his xbox360. (Lol that was a joke) Make him prove it. THEN you can become serious. With your next boyfriend I would explain to him about your past relationship, about how broken your heart was and about how you are afraid of going back to that.
And another approach is to just stay away from dating completely. Just hang with friends. Friends are wayyy more important than guys anyway! They're always there for you!
Good Luck(:
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You're not emotionally ready yet. You need to take some time to get over your past relationship and learn how to trust again.
Honestly, the bets thing is to take a break from the dating scene and make a lot of friends and stay busy. You don't want to get hurt again, so take it slow. :)
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