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All my friendships sink what is wrong with me?
18/f. Why is it that every time I make a friend, they eventually leave me? I've had good friends at church and school or so I tend to always believe then I find that they aren't interested in me or being my friend. Every time I try to get into a close friendship with people I associate with, I never get invited to do fun things with them after school or on the weekends. Also some of the people I held closest and even the friend that came to see me in the hospital didn't even invite me to their birthday parties/dinners. It's been like this with me ever since I came into this world. I think I may be the cause of the problem but I don't even know what I do wrong. I sometimes try to invite them somewhere and they agree to it but when the tables are turned, I'm not the one they ask to hang out. Also they admire and adore their other friends and when they are around they want to hear everything they have to say and they start to ignore that I'm there with them. It's every group of friends I've tried to fit in to. I've even tried people who are loners like me and I get shoved out of a friendship with them when I introduce them to my much prettier, more interesting friends. I'm never valued as someone's friend. They don't even adore or admire me like all the other people. I know people chose friends based on self want. Why can't I ever be wanted? I've tried diverse groups and I never seem to be the one they want to keep around. I've even had a few people hang around with me more than their valued friends because they thought I seemed left out but even those peoples don't invite me to their parties. I've been to one party my whole 4 years of high school and I've just graduated. Which is very sad. My boyfriend values me and maybe one friend whom I haven't been able to hang out with in a while. She's lost interest in our friendship but she use to treat me with respect and we were very good friends but she accidently got me into some trouble which put a huge dent in our friendship. I started questioning if she was a good friend because she never pays me back the money she owes me but on the other side, she sticks up for me and gives me great advice and use to be always there for me. Now our friendship faded and only half the time she listens to the words I say and she's always cutting in when I'm speaking. Anyway maybe I've had a couple successful friendships but I hate it when my friends are desired more than me. Once I had this one friend and introduced him to my very good girlfriend. He started speaking more to her than to me and he even didn't reply when I sent him a message and after I find he was there to send the reply because he said something to my friend and she doesn't even like him. She thinks he is annoying. He asks us to hangout and I want to but we don't because she doesn't want to. I feel like everyone is living their life and growing older and i'm just watching. I wish I could ask someone up front why I don't fancy them as a friend. I really want to know so I can change the right things about me so that I can be valued and missed and wanted when I'm not around.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You know, if there is something you want, something that you really want, you have to be aggressive about it. I think that you let people take charge of situations and run you down along in the process. When you find a friend or a group, you get trampled with other, new-coming people, who feel just the same as you, looking for new friends. You need to be a little more agressive and try to keep the conversation going and make sure you're in it most of the time. Do not try to hang with the wrong crowd, just to fit in. Those friends that you said you were close to, try to build back a relationship with them and who knows, it might be a long lasting one
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