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Sex With My Girlfriend
We've been sexually active for some months. I'm also a female and mostly every time I try to finger her, it hurts her. I can only fit one finger and I have to go in slowly and even at that she asks me to go back out because it starts to hurt. Usually the only way my finger can get in her is if she guides my finger in. I'm also not sure if her hymen is broken. I'm her first. Have I taken her virginity? If not then is what we are doing is considered sex and, or making love? It sucks because I'm not a guy and what if a guy were to have sex with her and claim her virginity? I'd be mortified. Once a guy did ask her if she was a virgin while we've been active and she answered "yes". It made me feel like our relationship didn't even account for anything. I want us to mean something and for our sexual experience to be worthwhile.
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Losing your virginity isn't about breaking the hymen. If that's the case, then I lost mine when I was about 10 years old, riding my bike.
I would disagree with Lucy - to lose your virginity with a girl, you don't need a penis-shaped object. That sort of flies in the face of what lesbianism means. Using a toy is fun, but it's not as meaningful (in my mind at least) as actually having sex.
Most people would not define fingering as sex. Would a girl who has been fingered by a guy say she's lost her virginity? It is a sexual activity, but it's not sex.
Personally, with a girl I define sex as oral. Maybe she feels the same way, and that's why she considers herself a virgin.
Other people have trouble wrapping their minds around the idea of not having had a penis in them but not being a virgin. Silly, but it's all a product of how they were raised and where they got their information from.
Either way, you should let her know how you feel. In any relationship, discussion is key to happiness!
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