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Really, really need help.
I ended things with my long distance boyfriend of 1 year, a month ago. The distance was hard, we were fighting a lot the last 2 months, and I figured it was best to end it.
We haven't spoken since, as I decided no contact is best for me to heal, he did contact me once but I never responded.
3 weeks after we broke up, he got a new girlfriend. I feel really sick about this.
I was doing surprisingly well, until I found this out. Now I find myself thinking, "wait, are we soul mates? should i contact him? did i make a huge mistake and let go of 'the one'?" I keep feeling the urge to e-mail him, just to talk to him, to see if he still cares, to see if we'll ever have a future.
I haven't e-mailed him though, and I'm REALLY trying not to. I KNOW I'll look desperate, because he has a new girlfriend, and I'm the one that broke it off anyway. I really think the break-up was the right choice. But, I think because I'm extremely lonely, and so hurt that he got over me so quickly..I'm second guessing myself.
So, what do you think? I keep replaying the good times we had together, and thinking about how we really did click so well, and it was honestly the best relationship I'd ever had, before it went sour. We did fight, but we just clicked, like 2 ppl that were meant to be. The main reason I ended it was because the love just felt like it was dying? On both sides, and I assume it definitely was for him..because he got a new gf.
So, I'm just wondering..should I contact him? Or should I just never contact him..ever again? I feel stupid for wanting to know if he misses me, or if we'll ever get back together..but I do want to know. I really just need some opinions. It's been a month, and I'm feeling so alone, and so depressed. Please, any help. Btw, I'm 19, and he's 22.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Basically your in the last stage of a break up.
You are feeling self pity, like you'll never find another guy. So your thinking about all the good times you had with this guy. However, remember all those times that you fought.
However its hard too tell because most guys get boyfriends just because they want to make you jealous. And because they can't cope with being on their own.
Show him that your sexy, confident and don't need him. If you do want to contact him, don't be needy. Just drop him an email saying something like:
"hey, how are you? How's your new girlfriend? What you been up to? Not spoke to you in a while" or something like that. So he knows you care but your not desperate for him. If you ask about his girlfriend this way, you'll also know whether he's actually interested or just making you jealous..
Everything happens for a reason!!!
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To be completely honest, I don't think you should e-mail him right now. You decided no contact was best and if you go back on it, you'll more than likely look back and regret it.
What I think is most important here is that he probably isn't over you. 3 weeks is NOT enough time to get over someone (especially when you date for a year). Chances are that this girl is a rebound and that he could be using her to ease the pain of your break-up.
I don't think you should e-mail him, but ultimately, what you do is your decision. If you decide that you want to e-mail him, even just to say hi, then you can and nobody can stop you.
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I dont think you should try to contact him. You broke up with him because you felt like the love was dying and you were fighting a lot, and that just tells you off the bat that things weren't working out. The fact that he got a new girlfriend that fast just solidifies that.
But don't stress out over his new girlfriend. Maybe that's his way of coping with the breakup, and she's just his rebound for right now. I'm positive he misses you at least a little bit considering you were going out for a year and he had strong feelings for you. There's no way he doesn't, so just know that. But that also doesnt mean that you should try to be with him again either. Just because he misses you and you miss him, doesnt mean that the relationship is good.
You should just continue on like you have been the past month. If in a few months you still feel strongly about talking to him, then maybe try to be friends with him again and see where that takes you, but I really wouldnt try anything with him now that he's with someone else.
And youre right, this all probably is just because youre lonely, depressed, and hurt that he moved on so quickly like that. But you should try and meet new people. Whether it's at work or school, surrounding yourself with new people always helps breakups.
Feel better and I sincerely hope everything works out for you.
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