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Confused...
I've been dating a guy since 2005 who has never been employed. I, too am unemployed but I'm unable to work an am on disability. I have 3 boys and this person is very kind and giving to them and me as well. We have out ups and owns but he is a good guy. He lives with his parents and two siblings and he runs errands for them, takes them to dr's appt etc and where this is quite commendable he is 37 and we cannot be a family when his family is so dependent on him. He has promised me countless times that he will find work and this is before the recession. He went to a 3 day security training program several months ago an every time I ask if he has received his background check info he says no and when I tell him this is taking quite some time and that he should follow up it seems as if he never has. He does not have a car anymore, his license is suspended for tickets and unless I'm giving him motivational talks it seems he has no real desire to achieve anything and it is like he almost becomes irritated when ever I question him about his efforts and I RARELY ask. I'm tired of waiting for things to improve. I have a house, car, valid and current license and I take care of my family and I feel that if I can manage all of this then why can't an able bodied man that does not have any children accomplish something? I care about him and he has character traits that I do not care for and I'm sure I irritate him as well but this is really wearing on me emotionally and physically.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You shouldn't waste your time worrying about him. If he doesn't want to change then don't waste your time trying to change him. Cause that's all your doing.
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He is 37 years old.
It's very unlikely he is going to change.
It's damn near impossible that he is going to change because you beg or bully him into it.
You can't be family unless he changes. That means it is very unlikely that you will ever be able to be a family.
That should irritate you. You've invested six years of your life into someone who is probably never going to move forward an inch, someone you cannot build a family with, and someone who has no interest in changing, not for himself and not for you. If you stay with him, the next six years are very, very likely to be exactly like the last six.
I would bet you already considering ending the relationship. Unless you can find a way to be satisfied with the current arrangement, that is probably the best path.
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