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Troubles with boyfriend (it's long, but I really need help)
17/f, boyfriend is also 17 and we've been going out for just about 6 months.
Well, a few weeks ago was our 5 month anniversary and on that day I fell more in love with my boyfriend than I had ever been. We had really deep talks and we sat in a hammock under the moonlight and he told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the world. I was the happiest I've ever been. It was wonderful and perfect and I knew that we had never been closer than that night.
However, just a few days after that, a ton of bad things happened in my family. My uncle died, my cousin went into the ICU because of heart complications, and my parents started fighting nonstop because of funeral arrangements. Understandably, or at least I thought it was understandable, I was very upset. I didn't come to school for a few days and kept snapping at everyone, especially my boyfriend. I was also VERY prone to tears. I thought he'd understand because obviously losing somebody you're very close to, the possibility of losing another, and your parents yelling can really take a toll on your life! I thought wrong. My boyfriend is basically avoiding me. He says that he can't help me because I'm just letting the stress get to me and that I'm the only person who can make that go away. He used to write me letters, and kiss me, and tell me how much he loved me... lately he hasn't been doing any of those things. This has made me even sadder and more snappish. Yesterday he said something really scary.
Me: *RAWRMEANSTUFFRAWR*
BF: Well, I'm going to leave you alone because you're really pissed off.
Me: The only reason I'm pissed off is because you're pissing me off because you're not there for me!
BF: I'm still going to leave you alone now.
Me: Or leave me forever, that's what you mean, right? (Remember this was in the heat of the moment)
BF: If that's what you want, yeah.
Me: Well, you're probably not going to see me for a week. That's probably good... we both need to take a break from each other... but not a breakup break, just a thinking time.
BF: A long break.
So, we're not seeing each other, but we're still talking. The problem is, he rarely wants to talk to me and he's being really weird. I felt terrible for being so mean to him so I keep trying to make it up. I really regretted all the bad things I've said and tried to make it clear to him that they weren't anything to do with him, but rather, my life. I've apologized and told him that he truly means the world to me and that I don't want to break up with him. That this is one bad period out of months of wonderful ones... but he feels distant, cold, and agitated. It's like he doesn't want to be around me... I try to give him lots of space, but then he thinks I'm ignoring him. I feel like he's going to break up with me and I'm dreading it. I love this boy... When I tell him my fears, he says that I'm stupid and that I worry too much but he does nothing to help solve them.
I know you're going to say that if he doesn't see you through this, he's not worth it. Trust me, he's worth it. There's just a big wedge between us that I have to try and remove. I just want to go back to the way we were on our 5 month anniversary. I really really love him... and I'm far from ready for this relationship to be over.
That was terribly long... and I really thank all of you who took the time to read this. You have no idea how much it means to me.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Guys dont always handles stress well either... While you feel like crying and falling apart, he is probably helplessly watching you suffer, and not knowing how to help you. This is where communication is very important. You two need to stop ignoring each other, sit down, and talk. Things may not get better, but there is a chance that you two will work through this and then be able to develop a deeper, stronger relationship. The reality is, you know in your heart what you want to do, and you dont need our advice. You love him, so go to him and try to work things out. Good luck.
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Your boyfriend is a jerk, Sorry to be blunt but it's the truth.
A family member had passed away, Your parents are constantly fighting and right when you need your boyfriend the most he turns his back on you. Don't sound like a true boyfriend in my opinion. Someone who truly loves someone does not turn their backs on them no matter the circumstances. Although, Your boyfriend probably has his own issues to deal with instead of completely cutting the rope, Why can't he be your moral support from a distance? A phone call at least 3 times a day to let you know he is supporting you in some way. Relationships take work, In good times and in bad. If he is not willing to give you the mental support when you need it most then he is not worth your time. In fact, Now would be a good time to realize that maybe he wasn't the boyfriend you thought he was all along. No guy that says he loves you etc. and then suddenly turns his back when you need him the most is worth anyone's time. You have every right to be upset and you don't owe your boyfriend anything. Sure, Things were good for awhile but now that things took it's toll with your family he doesn't want nothing to do with you? ...I would rethink the situation and whether he is worth your time or not.
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