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Oral, believes
From what I know oral sex is- handjobs blowjobs fingering ect.
Please correct me if I'm wrong.
- I have tlked to my parents about sex and they tell me to wait till marriage when they say wait they mean " oral" to. Well I'm still figureing myself out and I'm not going to take place in sexual activity in till it's right for me weather that is before or after marriage I really don't know. My family and I strongly believe in god. However my older siblings have boyfriends and my parents don't want them in the same bed togeather. They disagree with why my parents say and it has an effect on the way I think about sex "and waiting ect." I don't believe that it
sisters have waited to have oral in fact I REALLy don't think they have. This confuses me cause my parents tell me one thing but my sisters do another. I just wanna no how you feel about this and what I should do it's really bothering and confusing me. I'm getting at a age were I wanna be prepared on how far I wanna go.
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ADDITIONAL: RE: FEEDBACK. If you are "confused" or "conflicted" about this DON'T do it. That's a flashing neon sign that you aren't comfortable or ready for it. Trust instinct and what that voice keeps telling you.
ORIGINAL:
Your parents are providing you with the best guidance they can when it comes to sex. A lot of their concerns are valid--okay almost all. They're concerned that you are too young, boys will take advantage of you, bad reputation and getting hurt emotionally or otherwise. And yes you can get STD's from it.
They think you aren't mature enough to handle it. The only person who can decide whether or not to do this at this stage of your life is you. But what you should do is take their advice and read up on the topic.
The key things in making a sound decision is asking 1) Am I comfortable with the act itself? 2) Do I have the right partner and 3)Am I mature enough to deal with any repercussions and not to cave in to pressure?
When it comes to virginity this is a real grey area. Some people think it's the same as intercourse and some don't thinking losing virginity has to do with intercourse alone. It's about what you think and feel ultimately.
As far as God goes and religion NOTHING can take away your bond with God and your beliefs and that includes sexual activity. God isn't going to judge or strike you down and nothing about your devotion and adherence to what you believe has changed.
Mulling all of this over will help you know where you stand and how far you want to go. you can lay it out for your partner that this is where you draw the line and intercourse is absolutely out. If he tries to force anything else kick him where it hurts.
As far as your sisters go they took your parents advice and or didn't and made their own decisions and either rejected what they were told or took it under consideration. You can be smarter and well-prepared by reading and discussing the idea with your partner.
Sex is not a race and it's a personal decision whether you do this or not. Don't let any pressure come your way. Also, if close to your siblings perhaps discuss their choices and why they chose to do it now and take in consideration what they tell you. Take time to know about this act and that's how you avoid problems.
No parent likes the idea of their kids having any type of sex but this won't get you pregnant and on the whole is probably a lot safer than intercourse. Again, it's always down to your decision and feelings about it--not your parent's. They can guide you but ultimately it's all down to you. And yes, oral refers to mouth.
Although very common amongst teenagers it's not a universal thing by any stretch and you shouldn't feel any pressure to do it because of the perception that everyone you know does it.
You also have to ask yourself about whether you are ready for a partner to reciprocate as well as that's a large part of it.
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The person below me if right. Oral sex refers to sex involving the mouth. So from your list, only blowjobs are considered oral. Men can also perform oral sex on women in a similar fashion.
Sex is confusing. I can completley understand why you feel conflicted since your family seems to be pulling you in all different directions. The important thing to remember is when it comes to sex it is YOUR decision, and yours alone.
It's good that your parents have talked to you about sex. They obviously care about you and your well-being. Did they talk to you about birth control as well? I think even if parents promote abstinence to their children, they should still discuss the consequences of sex, birth control, and at least touch on all aspects of what happens if you wait or don't wait (good or bad).
The thing about your sisters is this: your parents probably told them the same things they told you, but your sisters have chosen not to take their advice on abstinence (assuming they are sexually active). Like the person below me said, just because your sisters are having sex doesn't mean you have too.
If you are confused then you obviously aren't ready. That's fine. Don't have sex because everyone else is doing it. Contrary to what you think, a lot more people are abstinent then what you may think.
Your religious. That's cool. It doesn't have to affect whether or not you have sex or not. It's a lot more complicated then, "God says don't have sex so I won't." When you meet a guy you honestly love the decision gets a little messy. It's not so black and white anymore.
My advice is don't turn this into some big deal. Don't set an age or time limit, because then if you don't live up to it you may feel like you've failed. You shouldn't look at it like that. When you meet a guy and fall in love, after being in a committed relationship reassess your situation. How do you feel? If you are scared, timid, already wondering if you will regret the decision, etc., then you probably still aren't ready. If you only have slight jitters (which is normal) and you are honestly exited about the experience, then you are probably ready.
I will leave you with this cliche: When you are ready, you will just know. :)
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First of all, oral sex is NOT fingering or handjobs. The word "oral" refers to the mouth.
Second of all, I don't know how old you are, but just because your sisters or whoever (be it your friends, cousins, etc) are having sex, it doesn't mean you should be. I know it may be confusing because in this day and age, it seems that EVERYONE's doing it. But if you rush yourself into something, especially something as big as this, you're just going to end up regretting it.
If you're extremely religious and devoted to god, wait until marriage to have sex of any kind.
If not, wait until you're absolutely ready.
And by "ready", I don't mean "damn, this guy's hot. I should have sex with him". I mean that you should not only be CERTAIN that this is something you want to do, but that you should be fully aware of the consequences and be prepared to deal with them.
Also, most girls are too stupid to follow this advice, but if you're certain you're gonna be having sex, you need contraceptives. Birth control. Condoms. Personally, I think that if you're not mature enough to buy a condom or get birth control pills, you're not ready for sex.
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