|
beyond depressed
My boyfriend and i broke up just about 2 weeks ago (he broke up with me ). He told me I was the best girlfriend he's ever had(and his first REAL relationship) .He told me im the most amazing girl he's ever met but he needs space and i guess he got sick of hanging around me so much.I did everything for this kid,all the time.even his friends would tell him how great i am and how pretty i am and how they wish their girlfriends were like me.We are on good terms and have hungout a few times since the break up,but while we were dating..he used to smoke weed and it bothered me so sometimes he'd lie to me about doing it.then i told him to be honest about it,so he told me the truth,and we'd fight over it often and he'd tell me im a "buzz kill" which obviously made me feel like crap.Recently since we've been broken up,he smokes more than ever.for the first time ,today he came to school high and told several of my friends he was getting high after school too.He skipped a few hours yesterday to do it.and it's just horrible.He hasn't done his work ,nothing! he has such a great family,he's so so smart,he has honors and AP classes,he is so good at soccer,he goes to church and he had me and this weed thing is throwing him down the drain and i feel like weed has been picked over me.Everyones telling me that he;s gonna miss having me around because i was so good to him and i was the first girl he ever really liked,...but how can he miss me if he's spending all his time getting high and not in the right state of mind?! HAs anyone else had this problem? He's such an amazing guy when he's not high .I just miss him and i wish he'd miss me too.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You cant change someone who doesnt want to change. If him smoken such a big problem for you then you shouldnt talk to him. Im not asking you to turn off your feeling no one can just think about it. How can he miss you if you still hang with him. Dont be depressed over some guy. Dont give your all to someone who dosent give it back if he cares about you he'll straighten up if not soon then dont wait for ever... Im guessing your still young being that your in school. worrie about you listen to your heart move on when your ready do whats best FOR you
SincerelyLyzzie
]
Dear Beyond depressed,
You just about recounted an experience I had recently. Unfortunately, you won't be able to change this scenario but you can learn from it.
1-Stick with your standards. If you knew he was smoking weed, being with him and then trying to change him is not the way to go. You have to leave people to their habits until they hit rock bottom and know it's time to create a healthy lifestyle.
2-People must help themselves in healthy ways in order to be a benefit to YOU. Marijuana relaxes people. He likely smokes weed to help him cope with something in his past or in his life. However, counseling is the better option, but a person must admit the struggle and be willing to get help.
3-An addict who is not in recovery will choose their addiction over you on any given day, because they are already in love, in love with the thing they abuse.
His pain of losing you and knowing he was not worthy of you makes him need to smoke more in order to cope. Do you want to spend all of your time with someone who has NO coping skills for problems other than to get high?
Just remember, it is not your fault. We both fell in love with an addict who was afraid to feel, afraid of the reality, and thus afraid to be sober. All we can do is hope for the best unselfishly. Not for the best of the relationship, but the best for the addicted person who is truly in pain.
Wish him well and find someone who is sober.
Take care,
Deeply Setting
]
More Questions: |