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eating disorder :( sorry its long
kill me now! iv had belumia 3 times already and it gotten really bad to the point it tore my family apart.every time i had it it was triggered off my stress or family issues, but this time everything is good im not stressed, im not overwieght and there are no family issues..i even have a seriouse bf now so i like everything in my life at the moment.
I DONT UNDERSTAND!! i started to get bad thoughts about food about a week and a half ago.. i told my bf about them and he said if it get worse we will get help. but the last few days have been bad... iv started throwing up again and feeling horrible when i eat food.
i havent had courage to bring myself to tell my bf. im so scared how can i get there thoughts out of my head???? i dont want to screw up all the good things i have going at the moment :( :( :(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Regardless of any reason that contributes to your bulimia--you could always turn to other activites other than bulimia itself to relieve your stress.
You could take your i-pod or mp3 with you and take a long walk/run. You could play sports or an instrument, go shopping, and even hang with friends.
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Hi,
My best friend has had bulimia for around four years now, so I’m going to try and help you by touching on my experiences as a friend with someone who has an eating disorder.
To start with I have had a best friend who became severely anorexic, my twin sister has had depression due to eating issues (she was a gymnast) and my friend who is still battling with bulimia.
The most important thing is that you go see someone to talk through why this might be happening and they can then help you.
It took my sister at least a year of seeing someone for her to finally come right. She mentions how she use to be scared of food and never realised something was wrong until she started to get better. My parents are really supportive and fortunately could afford the NZ $150 visits to go see a top psychologist.
There will be free services available through government run organisations or eating disorder organisations. A school counsellor would be a good place to start. However their knowledge and skills about dealing with this type of thing I think would be pretty limited.
Do you go to school? Does your boyfriend go to the same school as you? When I was at school my friends and I approached our school counsellor about our friends eating problems. They were not going to go themselves because they believed nothing was wrong/did not want help/were embarrassed. You don’t seem to be at that stage yet which is why acting now is really important. If you can tell you friends (maybe one or two close friends) they will then feel the need to approach the counsellor to help you, meaning if you ever feel you don’t need to go, you’re getting better etc your friends will be there to ensure you do get the help you need.
Because bulimia is a disease that can stay with you for life I feel you should approach your parents and ask if they would support you to go see a top psychologist. It can cost around NZ$150 a visit. Or do you have a job and can support yourself? Perhaps offer to pay a bit of it.
I cannot express enough the importance of seeing someone. Weekly visits are important because you can talk about what is stressing you out and they will offer you ways in which you can deal with it. My sister would talk about her family, pressure to get better for us, school pressure, and other stuff).
Please understand that there is no ‘quick fix’. It takes time to understand where this issue came from, how you can deal with it when it arises, and how to handle it if things are not going to well at the moment.
Please do not let it go on longer before you get proper professional help, the longer you leave it the harder it gets.
The thing is you might have to face ‘screwing up’ the good things in your life before you can get better. Always remember your friends, family will always be there for you and be the ‘good thing in your life’.
It is so hard for a friend or family member to help someone with an eating disorder. Maybe you might lose friends over it..they can only go so far with you, but family will always be there for you.
I fell out with my friend who had anorexia. She would lie all the time and when she finally got better she was a different person to who I knew (obviously, she had missed out on her teenage years and so was going through the stuff I already had). Three years later we are now friends again as we have both matured.
As a result of my friends battle with anorexia it did unfortunately lead to her parents getting a divorce and issues with her sister.
My bulimic friends’ family is fine, want to know why? They don’t know how to handle it and so they choose to ignore it. They tell her she is being stupid and needs to get over it, they eat junk food in front of her, hot chips, that kind of thing. I can’t say I know how you feel but I can say one thing at least you family cares. I don’t know what your family situation is like at the moment but at least you know they care enough to argue over it, to feel pain and frustration over it. My friend is living in a house that offers her no support and as a result she has no motivation to get better.
I’m sorry if I am not helping you, this is a really close issue to me and I could talk about it for ages.
Another thing is that it is so easy to get into a routine and get comfortable. My friend won’t go out, she won’t let anyone see her. She has a routine and she can’t get out of it. She is at the stage where it is easier to continue with it and even though she doesn’t want to be bulimic she doesn’t have the determination to push herself a little bit out of her comfort zone. Please do not allow this to happen to you. With family support it shouldn’t.
FAMILY support is the most important thing (that is if you are living at home?) you need someone to support you whenever you are having these feelings.
Dinners should be meals that are healthy so that you don’t eat the food and feel bad and then continue eating more. I do not understand how it works but for my friend she decides if she is having a good day or a bad day. If her family is eating ‘junk foods’ then she will eat them too and that makes it a bad day and so for the rest of the day or night she will eat a lot of food. And then vomit it up.
I don’t know at what stage you are at with this disease but if there are certain foods that trigger your bulimia talk to your family/boyfriend, make sure that these foods are not in the house. Make sure dinners are not foods that you consider ‘bad’ or ‘fatty’. Could be anything from hot chips, pasta, rice.
For people without eating disorders pasta and rice are healthy foods and can be eaten but if for you you do not see them that way then you should try and avoid them. Eat salads, wraps, foods that are light and will not cause you to stress out when eating them. Obviously you need a variety of foods but if you are at the stage where eating certain foods make you want to vomit them up then avoid them. Later you can try a small amount of say rice/pasta, having your family there to serve it to you. Don’t have any left over. See what it is like to eat a small amount. Can you handle it? If not you are not ready, if you can then that’s great but don’t push yourself too fast too soon. Be prepared to fall back into old habits. Do not see it as a failure, it is all part of the journey to get better.
With anorexics it is easy to see something is wrong however with bulimics it is not, unless you know what to look for. It is important that your family understands that you are sick and even though it might not show it is just as serious as anorexia . Also as with my friends they had a bit of both. My friend was anorexic (not severely but she lost a lot of weight) before she became bulimic and my anorexic friend did throw up sometimes as well.
Another thing is how you see yourself. My friend is my size and sees herself as fat. I am not fat. It doesn’t matter what you say to her she believes she is fat. Bulimia is a mental disease and so it affects how the person sees themselves. I hope I am not scaring you I just want you to be aware of the seriousness of the disease and how bad it can get. You are not at this stage yet that is why it is so important you get help now while you want it.
The strength it takes to stand by your friend with an eating disorder is huge and I can tell you now your boyfriend will not find it easy. You should take your boyfriend with you to some counselling sessions so you are on the same page. Also having sessions with your family is vital.
I am sorry that this is so long, there is also so much more to say. If you would like to keep in touch let me know I am happy to give you my email address if you need someone to talk to or have any questions.
Before your family can support you they need to understand. Once you start lying to the people you love it just gets easier so don’t fall into that trap, talk to your boyfriend about what you are going through. He is your support person and you need to trust each other. Always remember your family loves you unconditionaly.
Whoa this is long...hope I didn’t lose you along the way.
Best of luck :)
PLEASE get help.
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You can try Yerba mate capsules, if they are available where you live. Yerba mate is a herbal preparation that is said to suppress appetite, and is said to be of some benefit in bulimics, too.
You may also try flaxseed oil, which has definite appetite-suppressing effects, and see if it works for you.
Trying them out is the only way you can find out if they would suit you, because they may work in some people and not in others.
But they usually work and are worth a try.
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