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high school -> college
My boyfriend & I are starting college this fall. But, (we haven't picked schools yet) chances are our colleges are going to be hundreds of miles apart.
My dilemma: I have no idea what the hell we're going to do when we have to live in different states. I don't know if i'm going to be able to put up with a long distance relationship. It's not that I don't want us to be together, I just don't think I'll take the time apart well. What can I do? Do long-distance relationships EVER work out? How much more work are they?
Also, how can I talk to my boyfriend about this without it sounding like a sugarcoated version of "i dont' think we'll last past high school"?
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My currect boyfriend and I were actually faced with the dilemna of having a long distance relationship, and we ended up being apart for about a year. We texted all day, talked on the phone every night, and had phone sex and sent dirty pictures to keep the sexual connection. Now, we're literally next door neighbors to each other and couldn't be happier. Long distance relationships are completely possible if you have faith in your love for each other. Talk to your boyfriend about your concerns and also think to yourself about how much you want to be with him. If anything, you could just try the long distance thing for a while, and if you happen to meet someone else thats in closer proximity to you, go from there. But you should definitely talk to your boyfriend about it, he's probably having the same concerns.
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I tend to believe long distance relationships rarely work out, especially when you're talking about two young people heading off to college. You are going to discover so many new things about yourself, and meet so many different and interesting people, you are going to be changing soon, and its hard to maintain a relationship when both people are moving in different directions. But, that being said, you haven't even decided where you're going yet, and you don't know if you'll get accepted. So don't get too far ahead of yourself. Cross that bridge when you get there. For now enjoy the time you have together. When you have a more definite idea of where you will both be in the fall, that's the time to sit down and have a talk about what you expect in the future and what you want. Good Luck
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Long distance relationships are very very difficult to maintain, but it is totally possible. It really takes lots of dedication and effort from both parties that are involved. I think that the best thing for you to do is to sit down with your boyfriend and voice your concerns, let him know that you care about him deeply but that the thought of a long-distance relationship makes you nervous. Then you guys can talk about what you will both do to make it work, like how many phone calls a day, take photos together to put up in your rooms, emails, text frequently, visits, etc. If you just sit him down and tell him straight up what you are worried about, then work through how you guys can make it work, it will not only bring you closer as a couple but make you both feel more secure about the long distance relationship. They can work, not very often, but it is possible if you both really WANT it to work :)
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