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Second thoughts?
I recently had sex for the first time with my boyfriend who I like a whole hell of a lot. I used to want to be with him all of the time and think of him all of the time. After we had sex, the only thing I think about IS him, but it's thoughts of whether or not I should've done it. I feel like I'm less attracted to him, but I don't want to be. Is this just a phase? Are these the thoughts that might usually follow after having sex? I'm worried that my feelings are disappearing and I don't want them to. I also have thoughts that I probably shouldn't have done it, just because I feel less innocent than I have before, but I don't really regret it. What's wrong with me?
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You just feel guilty, which is a totally normal feeling to have after you lose your virginity, and you could be pushing your boyfriend away because he reminds you of this guilt. Spend some more time together before you decide to have sex again, and the guilt will subside.
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I don't think anything is wrong with you. I think what you need to do is really reflect on your experience and your feelings.
First time sex is special, but often not because it feels good, but more because it's a new world opening up for you and you're going to remember it forever.
Possibly you had higher expectations of how you were going to feel. Maybe your boyfriend is not very good in bed yet and you probably sensed he was getting way more out of it than you did. Was he selfish in bed? Was he attentive to your needs? Were you expressing what you wanted out of him?
You ARE less innocent than you were before. You know know something you can't unknow. The change that's taken place in you losing your virginity is not about your body, but about your wealth of experience with your body. And there's nothing wrong with being less innocent about anything as you age. It's a part of getting older.
My advice is to avoid sex with your boyfriend until you know how you feel about him, and about what you want out of your sex life, or if you feel prepared to have one yet. Let him know you're having some ambivalent feelings about sex right now and you need time to sort it out. Doing it once does not mean you must continue if you're not feeling it.
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