|
What makes a relationship work?
So I was wondering what the difference is between a relationship that works and one that doesn't? I think there are early signs to look out for but I'm not exactly sure what.
I have this guy friend. We're pretty close and we hang out often enough. Recently, I've started liking him. I'm not looking for anything beyond friendship--I mean, sure, it would be nice, but if it's not to happen, I'm fine with it. The thing is, our personality types are complete opposites--(in terms of Myers-Briggs) I'm ESFJ (Extravert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) and he's INTP (Introvert, Intuition *I think*, Thinking, Perceiving)--take from that what you wish. Also, based on FIRO-B (this other test which I don't really remember the details of), I express and want affection a lot and he wants affection a little, but his expression score was 0.
All those things aside, we get along really well. Time doesn't seem so long when we're together (forgive the cliche-sounding of it). When we talk, it just flows. I don't have to scramble for words when I'm with him. The most accurate way I can describe it is that being with him is so easy. I can be me without pretensions.
The thing that makes me hesitant (if something were to happen) is that I can get pretty emotional. I like telling stories and he listens but his reaction is sometimes a bit blah. I don't mind it, to be honest, but I'm wondering if it will bother me in the future--how he may not be responsive or whatever. In his MBTI (Myers-Briggs) profile, he's an extreme INTP while I'm floating. In fact, he told me one of my "redeeming qualities" (I asked him before what redeeming qualities I had) was that I was really logical for a girl.
I don't know. I guess I'm just wondering if it will work if something were to happen. I'm aware that my judgment is probably clouded because I like him and we're close friends and all, which is why I'm asking someone else. My friends are all supportive because they see how I'm so at ease with him and he somehow brings out the best in me. But well, my friends are really nice so if they have reservations, I'm not sure if they would express it.
Anyway, I'm sorry for my somewhat lengthy question. I hope you can shed some light on my "problem" of sorts, as, while not at a complete loss, I still am at a loss.
Thanks very much.
Oh, apparently I'm supposed to say my age and gender and stuff. I'm 19/f and I'm not from the USA, but I understand English pretty well.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Way, way over-thinking this.
I mean, Jesus, you're throwing all kinds of scores and acronyms at me.
All of that stuff is bullshit, by the way. None of those scores matter all that much. What really matters here is why.
A guy can be quiet and reserved for any number of reasons.
Example? He could be nervous, uncomfortable, or self conscious. He could be these things because he likes you alot, or because he doesn't like you at all. Obviously, depending on what the case is it affects your possibilities alot.
The truth under all of this is that without giving it a shot you'll never know. Every person is individual in their own weird little ways. You never know what might turn into an attractor or what might send you running the other way, just because of the particular way in which a person conducts themselves.
Personality tests are amusing diversions, but they're also greatly shaded by ego and perception. Relatively inaccurate in that they tell you you have x quantity of y characteristic but don't describe much of anything about what said characteristics actually mean in the real world or how it will affect their behavior and worldview.
Flirt and see how it goes. There really isn't any better advice than that. If he doesn't give you any hints, go blatant and ask him out.
It's either that or sit on your hands until someone more responsive piques your interest.
]
More Questions: |