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boyfriend of three and a half years


Question Posted Tuesday March 16 2010, 1:28 am

I saw your response to a question about breaking up with your boyfriend, and I saw that you said you were together with your ex for three years.. here is my story...

I'm in need of help, I'm so confused. I'm dating this wonderful guy. He is honestly great, when i picture myself married, i see me married to him and no one else. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 17. Young. I never thought I would be with him three and a half years later. Well I graduated in 2009 and this past summer we broke up before my grad party, got back together, broke up and I dated someone else. I missed him a lot, and was jealous bc he went on a date with another girl. We got back together, not right away, but we 'talked" and got back together in Nov. Well recently I have been feeling that I was never a normal teenager, that it was taken away from me bc I was with one guy for so long.
I love him more than anything, but I still wanna be 18.
My worries, i'm worried that if we take a break again that I will release I was wrong and that I want him back, but he wont be there. Im scared that if i let him go now, that down the road when Im ready to get married, I wont have or find another great guy like him, basically like karma.
I hate when people are disappointed in me and idk if thats another reason that is holding me back from being me, or not. I dont want him to hate, and I dont want to regret this. I know he is in love with me.. I even talked to him tonight about this. He said it sounded like I was questioning our relationship, which I guess I am, but really im trying to find out if i want to be an 18 year old girl, or stay feeling like a 20 something married women.
Ughh i just dont know. I do realize what I have, hes the guy every girl wishes they could get. he was there for me for a lot! i really just am at lost at what to do. I told him I wish we didnt find each other so young, but at the end of the day, we did and we cant change that.. Im scared to regret breaking up with him.. Please please please help me.. Tell me anything..


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cloudy_conscience answered Wednesday March 17 2010, 8:50 pm:
Woah this question is like major deja vu, you sound just like me. I did care about the boy I was with, but I didnt feel like I was experiencing things that teenagers should experience. I felt like something wasn't right, but like you was afraid it was a mistake and that I would regret it. I also hate for people to be disappointed in me and his mother and I were uber close and it really bothered me to think about her pain in the whole situation. In the end it came down to this, I wasn't happy were I was at and it really wasnt fair to him for me to stay with him and possibly keep him from finding "The One." I ended it and yes it was the hardest decision that I have ever made, but now looking back on it I know it was the right thing for the both of us. We are both very happy now, I began dating my husband shortly after this and we were married about 6 months ago. I do not regret this and don't feel like I have missed anything. My ex and I are now best friends and he is with a girl he really cares for as well :)
Every situation is different and you really have to act based on your own feelings. Now if I had stayed with my ex it wouldnt have lasted and I would have probably still felt as though I was missing something, were as when I'm with my husband I never feel like Im missing anything. I know I am right where I am supposed to be, yes we have problems but everyone does. I just know that I love him more than anything and that we belong together. You can't stay with him just because he is a great guy and you are afraid of mistakes, but don't break up with him just because you are scared either. You have to really sit down, weigh the pros & cons, think about how you are feeling and where you want things to go from here, its going to be hard and hurt alot but its worth it in the end. Once you figure out where you want to be and where you are meant to be you will feel lots better :)
I really hope that I helped and if you have any other questions send me another question or email me if you would like a more private conversation. bacardii_caddy@yahoo.com <- there's my email.
Good Luck.

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