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guys like my best friend..


Question Posted Sunday March 14 2010, 8:46 pm

14/f

first off, sorry for the stupid name of this. i didn't know what to call it.

second, i really don't want to come off as a bad friend at all. because i'm not i love my best friend it's just i don't know..

here it goes, it seems guys like my best friend better. well, to be honest i think i'm prettier than her. i know that sounds terrible but it's the truth. sure, she's pretty too but i just think i'm a little prettier. so please don't judge me or anything because i say that. anyways, she's really social. like i am too but she's more loud and talkative i guess. like she always has to have someone to talk to and i don't mind the quiet. well, she never stops talking so it does get a little annoying and my other friends agree too.

it's like every guy likes her better than me. and she's a little conceited because of it. and when i'm around her and guys it makes me feel bad about myself. i just don't see why..

thanks in advance, and please don't give me shit. i'm not a bad friend. i just really needed to get this off my chest and get advice.

and thanks if you read this all!


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illusionsaregrander answered Monday March 15 2010, 8:46 pm:
Guys are intimidated by girls. Especially pretty girls. If you are prettier, (and I am not judging, I havent seen either you or your friend) but you are more reserved, you may be more intimidating.

If your friend is pretty also, but more outgoing, and she makes them feel more confident that she likes them, they will spend more time talking to her.

It doesnt mean they think she is prettier than you. They may actually think YOU are prettier. But liking a person is about more than just looks. Most of us like people who seem to like us.

You could try making the guys feel more at ease, and the best way to do that is to focus on their feelings, not your own. What I mean by that is stop focusing on whom they like better when they are around you both, and pay more attention to them and how they might be feeling.

This strategy works with more than just guys, btw. The more concerned you are with the feelings of those around you, and the more comfortable you make them feel when they are around you, in general, the more they will enjoy your company and seek it out.

Being pretty actually makes it a little harder for you. You have to extend yourself just a little more because guys do get intimidated around pretty girls. (Except for jerks, they usually target the pretty girls because the nice guys are too shy to go up to her)

Dont change the person you are JUST to get guys to like you. That would be unfair to you. Just realize that they are shy and insecure around pretty women, and maybe make them feel a little more secure around you by making it really clear that you want their company.

I would say that is what your friend really has going for her. She makes it VERY clear she WANTS to talk to them. And so they feel comfortable doing so.

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erikageez answered Sunday March 14 2010, 9:59 pm:
well maybe you should be more talkative like your friend? i also have this same problem which i really dont understand why this happens? maybe one of these days you never know and that special somone may come! dont get this impatient just wait and be a little more friendlier and see what happens? hope i helped :)

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