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Finally taking the plunge.
19/female. Nick is 18.
We've been friends for about 3-4 years now. he's actually a senior in high school and i'm a sophomore in college, yeahhh please don't comment on the age difference that's not my problem right now!! plus i'm doing online so its not like i'm far away from him.
anyways nick would always be really flirty with me like all the time. neither of us have said we liked each other but this attraction has been going on for like 2 years now. girls have come and gone but i've always been there. well now there is this other girl who i feel threatened by and i feel like he needs to choose between me or her because i'm done with this crap. this girl is honestly really immature, not pretty at all and i'm not just saying that, basically i think he is too good for her. the thing is, i don't know if he sees me more as a friend! we never really established we liked each other, maybe in fear of one of us wouldnt feel the same way.
so i'm going to tell nick that i'm basically really turned off by him talking to this other girl and hanging out with her and if he really does like her then he can forget about me. BUT if i say this and he is like wait what do you mean forget about you? i thought we were just friends .. i'd be devastated and foremost embarassed. i just need to get it out there though. what do you guys think about me saying this? am i doomed for sadness? but maybe he will realize i'm not joking around and playing his games.
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You're taking the bratty route. Rethink the wording to sound less bitchy.
Instead of "I'm done with you if you're with her" why not just go with the slightly less arrogant "I don't know why it took me this long to say it, but I want to be more than friends with you, and I don't think I can be ok with less. Seeing you with (whats her name) hurts me, and I'd like you to think about the fact that if you dump her, I'm yours"
Then kiss him (on the cheek if you can't muster a kiss on the lips) and leave telling him to call you when he's thought it through.
Since love is war, fight dirty. Do this face to face, pick an outfit that best fits the descriptors "hot" "casual" and "classy". Look him in the eye when you speak to him. Play with your hair at some point. When he meets your eyes, bite your lip slightly. Touch your heart (in such a way that you don't hide the hint of cleavage you should be showing) while talking to him. Pretend to look at something above you and off to the side so that you arch your neck and expose it to him (necks are sexy) When you leave, add a little sway to your hips.
This is seduction 101, but a little subtle manipulation goes a long way. If a woman is within a guy's standards for physical attraction, all it takes is acting a little sultry to get his motor going. The trick is to be suble. Don't be over the top, your goal is that he doesn't even really notice that you're acting all that much different. Subtly touching or rubbing parts of yourself in non sexual ways won't make him think anything's really different, but if your hands are moving over your body his eyes will be drawn there, and his mind will be churning.
If pulled off perfectly, the net effect is that you still seem like the same person, only now he's turned on by you. Added to your little revelation, you've got a pretty decent chance at turning his head.
And honestly, be patient. If he's a good guy, there's a good shot he won't necessarily be cool with just telling the other girl to fuck off, purely because he doesn't have the reasons to dislike her you have and he doesn't want to be an asshole.
If he isn't won over, let him know that you'd like him to change his mind, and if he does in the future he should come talk to you about it. And then you should remove yourself, because being around him and a girl he dates who you hate and are jealous of is only going to turn you into a bitch. Don't put any of you through that, better to walk away with your head held high and hope he comes around.
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Sounds like you're both playing games. So stop the games. It looks like you're just going to have to bite the bullet and sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel about him. Leave the other girl out of it. That's not really the issue anyway. The real issue is that you care for him as more than a friend. Maybe if he sees that you are a real option he won't even have any interest in this girl. Its a risk, for sure. He may say he doesn't feel the same way. But maybe he does! The thing is, nothing great can ever happen if you don't take the risk. Just be really sure you're willing to except the consequences. Run it over in your mind - what will you do if he says he doesn't see you in the same way? What if he does? Are you willing to risk losing the friendship? If you do become gf/bf and then it doesn't work out you may never be able to repair the friendship. Are you willing to risk that? If yes, then summon up all your courage and just come out with it. And don't forget - don't make it about the other girl. As a matter of fact, pretend she doesn't exist. Concentrate on what you and Nick share as friends. She's just a distraction. Good Luck! I have a good feeling about this for you!
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