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am i a psycho?
so my boyfriend and i have this agreement that when we go out and party we tell each other first and then call each other when we get back to just say a quick goodnight and to make sure we got back fine because we live far apart. He has been going out a lot lately and i haven't. And he keeps not holding his end up but it really hurts me because i expect it and then it doesn't happen. We have been through it and i threatened to break up with him over it before. I don't want to end our 2 year relationship over something this stupid because i know he hasn't cheated or done anything deliberately to hurt me. He gets home and passes out. Meanwhile, I wake up and then cry myself to sleep. I know, pathetic right? Anyway it causes a lot of emotional pain and i don't know what to do. If he can't keep up his end it feels like he just doen't care at all about how i feel.
we are both 18 in college.
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I think the best thing to do is to sit down and just talk but if this doesnt work then make just take a break for awhile and see if things get better and if not then maybe ending things is the best thing to do even if it is over a stupid thing because sometimes that stupid thing could cause bigger problems in the future and besides you dont want to spend you life crying about the bad things in your relationship its not healthy for you or your relationship. The choice is yours but i suggest taking a break. Good luck :D
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Personally, I wouldn't recommend having a long-distance relationship when in college anyway, but that's not what you're asking. When making a new step in life, it's easy to forget what you've left behind when you're in the thick of things. My girlfriend moved to a different city to go to college while I stayed here, and I can tell you for sure that had she not been constantly calling me, I probably wouldn't have thought to call her. It's not that I didn't want to, or that I was an inconsiderate prick, it's just that being in a new environment threw me off my regualr schedule and I would tend to forget my "roots," if you would.
I don't think he's meaning to do it. I just don't think he realizes the magnitude of how seriously you take it. Threatening to break up is not the way to handle it; he'll see that as you being overly emotional and he won't take it seriously. You just need to explain to him, in a calm and serious manner, what it has meant to you and what you need to change. Any decent man will lend you his ear and act accordingly.
However, I was once an 18 year old in college too, so there's always the chance that he will decide to move on from this long distance relationship for closer, shorter, and more physical ones. Please don't tell me he's not the type, you know him too well, he'd never hurt you like that, etc. People can change when thrown into a new environment. Hell, my girlfriend and I didn't really have any serious problems until we were 3 years in, and that was after she had moved away and moved back.
In short, be honest with him, and have faith, but don't be so naive to think he'll fix it immediately, or that there will be no more hang-ups or possible trust issues.
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