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Exercise Phobia?
Before I explain what's going on, let me point out a few things. I use to be anorexic. I use to consume about 600 calories a day and work out for two hours. Obviously, I didn't really think I had a problem until everyone told me I needed to do something because the bones were popping out of my face and my eyes looked like they were going to fall out. I've been officially recovered since maybe late November/early December. It was still iffy around that time because my eating disorder was turning in another direction and I was bingeing. It was "a sign of recovery," but still, very unhealthy. I was so scared that I'd never be able to have a normal relationship with food again. But, I did. Now, I can officially say that I'm ok. Of course we all want to look good, and I do eat very healthy and watch myself. But, the obsessive behavior has stopped. I am, however, not exercising as much as I use to. This started about 2 weeks ago. I love to ride bike and actually enjoyed exercising. I even bought a spinning bike for my house because I wanted to get certified to teach spinning since I love it so much. But, it's like I'm really scared to go on it. I can't explain it. It's like a fear I have of exercising. Maybe it's just a phase and my body needed a break? I don't know... but, yesterday, I did go on it, and I was able to ride it for about 30 minutes. I usually go on for an hour, so I decided to go on it for 40 minutes yesterday, to start off slow, but I felt bad, nervous, and anxious while I was on it and had to finish early. I don't know what's going on with me. Could anyone have any ideas?
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I am also someone who has recovered from anorexia, although for me it was a few years ago that I considered myself recovered. I'm still a little anxious when it comes to riding the bike or doing the elliptical at the gym because I was so used to overdoing it at that point in life that I was afraid I'd take it too far again.
My guess is that you are subconsciously afraid to work out because you're afraid of any kind of relapse. My suggestion is to talk to your doctor, a counselor, or a nutritionist who knows about you. They can help you come up with an exercise plan that works for you, and maybe with someone elses approval you'll feel more comfortable and less scared/nervous/anxious, etc.
I'm no expert on this, but that's kind of how I felt when I first started exercising again after recovering. It's a scary experience, and I'm glad you were able to pull out of it and want to get your life back on track again :)
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