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humorist-workshop
parents :/
17/f
ugh parents... i know they aren't bad and that i should be thankful to have them. but sometimes they are soooo annoying!!!!!
my parents are difficult and stubborn. if i tell them something, they'll just say their opinion
example- i tell my mom i'm having boy issues. i have a boyfriend but like another guy at the same time. she will just tell me her opinion. she'll say "what?? oh no dont be like those girls. dont be a boy hopper who goes from guy to guy. you need to focus on school" gahhhh and all i was asking for is for her to make me feel better and figure out what to do. but instead, she just made me feel bad about myself and made everything worse and mad at her.
another example- I got a B in my math class (trigonometry) and i know i could have done better.. but when i told my parents they immediately freaked and was like- "ohh thats not good.. you need to maintain your good GPA so you can get into college.. i think you may have dropped to the B honor roll.. you need to stay on the A honor roll.." gahhh and its like- i studied for this math final for like 7 hours and i tried soo hard to get a good grade in this, and they dont appreciate how hard i'm trying..
another example- my dad is a volleyball coach at the same club that i play at (he coaches a different team, thank the lord. id go nuts if he coached my team) and so i will skip a setters practice because i have to study for school because i'll have finals.. and he'll get mad and tell me to go to the practice for a little while.. but he doesnt understand that i'm 17, he cant really control me anymore. i have a mind of my own... ugh its so frustrating..
i think this is my main problem with my parents- i feel like i can't tell them anything because I know that if i do tell them something, they'll make me feel bad about it. how do i fix this?? i cant just talk to them about it because if i do.. again... they'll make me feel bad about it and they're very stubborn and just give me their opinion... in this case their opinion would be- "what?! what do you mean you cant tell us anything?? you should be able to tell us anything!! how can you not trust your own parents.." blah blah blah..
so how can i fix this dilemma??
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Wow! That's horrible, that's deff not good for self esteem.
Do you have a aunt, or uncle, or grandma, or older cousin you can tell everything to? My mom doesn't care about half the things i tell her, i tell my grandma everything, and i text my aunt some times (Cant call her. Because her and my mom are in a fight) Or even though you think you know their reaction to telling them about this.
Maybe you should try it anyway, if they start to give you a reaction like that, just walk awway. lol
Good Luck.
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Oh I feel like we might have the same parents, because this is exactly what I go through. Nothing ever seems to be good enough, and theres always something else I could've or should've done. Believe me, I understand.
But after my senior year in high school, and freshman year in college, I got into a decent amount of trouble, and it took me a bit to realize that If i had followed their advice, I wouldn't be in the problem at all. As much as I hate to admit it, they have been around and they do know a few things. While it may be incredibly annoying, and asking them for advice is just asking for myself to get mad and annoyed, I have started to listen to them, and it has already saved me on some occassions.
Also understand they grew up under completely different circumstances, and realize that the advice they give me may have been good for "back then", but it wouldn't really apply to current situations. But overall, try giving them a listen, and instead of completely writing off their ideas, reconsider them, even if it just a little.
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To me, it sounds like you resent your parents for being parents?
Talking to your parents is just like coming on here to ask for advice. You're asking for their opinion. If you just wanted to hear certain words, you could record yourself saying them and play it all you want. You going to your parents is you asking them what they think.
I'm just going to go scenario by scenario here, and give you my take on them.
1) Boy Hopping
You have a boyfriend but are considering another guy. I've seen some of your other questions on here, and it sounds like you've been a little pre-occupied with boys... maybe your mother has something there. She's been there, done that. Remember, she was 17 at one point. She's just trying to save you heartache by trying to keep you from making mistakes that she or her friends might have made already. A big part of being a mom is wanting to protect your kids. You wanted her to make you feel better. Well, if you follow her advice, you will feel better. Focusing less on guys would be a great idea, based on some of your other questions! You're going through a lot of headaches and heartaches, and a break from dating wouldn't hurt. You also wanted her to figure out what you should do... she gave you her input. I see no issues there. What I think is that she didn't give you the answer you wanted to hear.
2) School
You got a B, but know you could have done better. That to me says that you feel like you didn't live up to your full potential. Maybe instead of studying 7 hours, you needed to study 14. You're putting in effort, but your wording tells us that you're not happy with the results you got. And you want your parents to pat you on the head and tell you you did well? Good parents will push you... I know I hated mine for doing the same thing, but I got into a good program at a good school because of it. They know you can do better, and that's why they're challenging you to do so. Take it as a sign that they think you're better than a B. They know you've got what it takes!
3) Volleyball Issues
Your dad's trying to get you to relax. Taking a break from studying and getting some exercise is really good for you. And one thing you need to know: you live under his roof, he can control you. You need to follow his rules, no matter what age you are. However, you can meet him halfway; maybe instead of going during your study session, promise to do an extra practice the next week.
I think your main problem with your parents is that you're 17. All teenagers (myself a few years ago included) are at least a tad self-entitled, and you are no exception. You feel like an adult, but you aren't one quite yet... not till you move out! Grin and bear it, and 5 years from now you'll be amazed at how much smarter they've become all of a sudden. I know I was. Don't expect them to just give you what you want. Them challenging you means that they care enough about you to face conflict and potentially hurting your feelings.
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