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getting my old life back, stupid doctors & rape
I need hope & help getting my old life back due to a bit of setbacks.
-i took lessons starting three years ago. Guitar & clarinet lessons for over a year and taught myself piano. i could play nearly anything on guitar or clarinet, and alot on piano and I wrote a lott of good songs. The thing is I’m so jealous of my past?? i try & try yet i suck, i cant understand any guitar or piano notes but i can do tab slowly, and suck at writing songs they don’t flow. i was in track&field and cheerleading and was very social and with friends everyday but now i don’t talk really and only go out with my boyfriend and if friends pick me up and make me come with them yet I constantly need to be doing something either shopping or muay thai or painting just something. My life revolved around friends and arts of all kinds I want that back.
-I hit a very hard point in my life and pretty much dropped everything I had going for me. Doctors called it rape, the guys didn’t go in me though I broke free but I did suffer a lot and was hurt in many ways. I was hospitalized and had and somewhat still have severe ptsd, trauma pain, and lost touch with life. With 7 months of failed treatments they diagnosed me as schizophrenic and i was treated like it and rehabilitized. Doctors fucked up my memory, brain and I have no trust in anyone. i got the hell out a there and without records transferred switched to doctors who don’t have a clue about my past and have been doing unimaginably better and its down to two a month doctor visits. :)
-I’m trying to get going again, iv been trying all I miss but I just suck I cant do anything anymore not even act like I used to. I’m lost involving music and art. My paintings, stories and drawings suck and I can’t play music anymore but I’m diein to. I want my life back! I finally am willing to give it my all. So any ideas on how to get skill back or knowledge even social skills? Positive or negative let me hear it I want change. Help? almost 16/f
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
im really proud of you!youv already started to improve by declairing to yourself that you want to go back to your old life and want a change.
trying to overcome what you have become will be hard but if your prepared then you will improve.
im really sorry about what happened to you and is good that you are still able to have a bf because soemtimes things like that can really put you off the world.
soemthing that really helped me when i went through something traumatic is writing a book.it feels like your in another world and you can say or do anything you want.it might even help if you wrote about the sad incident.
another thing is keeping a journal beside you at all times.whenever your angry or feel the need to express yourself then you can do so by writing in that journal.it sounds to me that you dont talk to any of your friends about how you feel,maybe you do with your boyfriend but a journal is soemthignt hat you can trust to keep your secrets.youll feel alot better once you let your feelings out.
another thign you can do and i think your already doing it is doing the things that make you happy.like being with your boyfriend or being with friends.doing things that will make you laugh and be happy.doing things that you know wont make you recap on the past!
and lastely the most important thing is to give yourself time.i know that your probably roling your eyes and thinking that wont help because you gave yourself enough time alreadsy but thats not necesarily true.your mind will go back to normal and even in better condition when its ready.you went through somethign really terrifying and its only natural you wont be the same for a long time but slowly you will get better and you will go back to how you were,you just need to be patient with yourself and give yourself time
:) let me know if you need anything else
what do you mean you just came home from having your heart ripped out??
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U just needa have a positive additude and 1 person you can trust to expand your horizons.That 1 person you trust will put hope and joy back in your life and thats going to be the KEY to get your skills back.
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