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I need advice about my best friend and her bf
Ok so I live with my best friend, and for the most part she is a decent and good friend, but this girl is sooooo insanely attached to her boy friend. Let me start out by describing their relationship. They have been together for over 2 years and neither of them have ever been with anyone else. She drops everything for him all the time. She'll make plans with me and then not show up because he called and she 'forgot' our plans. She cry's if she cant see him for a day, she is constantly txting him, calls him for an hour every night. I live with her and we share a bed room and he is here almost everyday. I just feel like she puts him before her own life, and she's constantly upsetting our friendship because of him and I am at my wits end. I dont want to tell her 'Hey, your adicted to your boyfriend and I cannot stand that you put him before me all the time!' because this would end in an emotional spout. So please someone give me advice as to what to before I smother her in her sleep lol jk.
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Well it sounds like they are in love and maybe even a first love which can make it harder to pry them apart, it sounds like that maybe you would like your friend to spend more time with you. Maybe you should sit down with her and tell her how you feel. And see were that goes.
Thanks
Tim
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This is classic. The boyfriend/bestfriend jealousy debate is never ending, and there is never an ending solution that leaves everyone happy. And unfortunately, it's usually the friend that gets the short end of the deal.
Unless this relationship is abusive or unhealthy, it's best for you not to tell your friend she spends all of her time with her boyfriend. This will leave her on the defensive and will only turn into a fight. Instead, sit her down and tell her you want to have a girl's night. Make it very clear how important this is to you. Have her tell her boyfriend in advance, pick a day, and make it a rule that neither of you can call or text boyfriends. Then you can mention your concern without sounding jealous.
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being a girl, i know how attached a girl can get to her boyfriend. its happened to the best of us. and you cant really understand it unless youve been through it. but, heres what ill tell ya.
you need to tell her straight up that its bothering you. dont wait too long or it may get to you too much and youll end up in a fight with her, which wont be too good since you guys live together. dont get a friend to do it either, she'll be even more mad that you did that. dont hide from the problem, you need to tell her yourself, and very soon.
tell her politely that its bothering you. something like "i really miss us hanging out like we used to, can we hangout just the 2 of us?" or "remember that time when (name a time when you guys had a lot of fun together), we need to do it again soon!" she'll realize she really misses you. or maybe you can even offer hanging out with her and her boyfriend. it will make both ends meet without making either of you upset.
ive been through this before and everything will work out for the best, i promise. just give it time and she'll eventually realize that she's treating her bestfriend badly.
hope i helped! xoxo
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