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the last time we talked he was drunk, and that was last weekend
I'm an 18 year old girl crushing on a 21 year old guy. As a result of this crush, I decided to ask him if he wanted to hang out with me back in November, in order to see if he was interested in me. He said, “yeah,” and he seemed really interested, even asking me what I liked to do on the weekends. He currently doesn't have a phone, so we exchanged AIM screen names. We met each other through a class that we both took.
I thought that he was really interested in me. We'd always be talking every time we got to see each other. And some people in our class would tease us at times. Like for instance, we didn't show up to class on the same day, and one girl said, “So, what were you guys doing?” And, he showed concern when a bunch of personal shit went down with my sister. I mean I understand that it doesn't necessarily mean that the guy likes you, but it does when you guys have both agreed that you want to hang out with each other and whatnot. He'd also greet me in class, which he didn't really do that much with other people.
We've talked one night since that class ended, and he was drunk, that was last weekend (weekend before Christmas). I honestly wouldn't have been able to tell if he hadn't said anything, about not wanting to drive because he was too drunk. I felt like we got along pretty well, I mean we're both equally as smart, and we talked about a couple of things, he would tell me about stuff that he did in highschool, etcetera. We also shared a lot of the same views. I mean, of course, we had some differences, like he smokes pot and drinks and I don't, which isn't a huge deal to me. Honestly, like I've always wanted to experiment with pot and drink, I just haven't had very many opportunities.
We haven't even really hung out, basically because other things have come up. He's always been busy, like one of his friends turned 21, so he kind of had to spend time with her. Thanksgiving weekend he got sick, and he was hanging out with his friends. One weekend he went down to his friends college with a group of friends. I also had a job for a little while that required me to work every weekend and at times really late.
I even contacted him to ask him if he was avoiding me, and he didn't answer. I don't know if he's purposely blowing me off or if he hasn't been online. Like, his mom uses his computer sometimes, so it's very possible that she's one on his computer and not him. I know that he's been busy with his friends, they go away to school, so they don't see each other, and when they're home they hang a lot. And I know that a lot of colleges are out for break. He's one of those guys that has told his friends that if they really want to get in touch with him to drop by his house, which isn't as easy for me considering that I don't drive, don't know his address, etcetera. So, I don't think he's one for AIM either, I don't know... it just frustrates me so much that we haven't talked. How should I proceed? Should I assume that he's avoiding me and is no longer interested? Shouldn't he be mature enough to let me know that, then? I mean, previously, he's struck me as a really good person and mature enough to let me know if he wasn't interested anymore, I'm thinking negatively and I want to know what's going on.
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I think he doesn't really want to see you. Now I don't mean to be rude I just think if a guy wants to see you he'll make it happen. He wouldn't make other plans or ignore your IMs. I'm not saying you should give up. I'm just saying you should back off a little bit.
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This is a hard thing to hear - if this guy really wanted to talk to you he would get in touch. Like you said, you have a crush on him. Well, maybe he had a crush on you too, and by definition crushes are temporary, so maybe his crush is over, simple as that. You say you thought he'd be mature enough to tell you he wasn't interested, but really, that's a hard thing to say to someone. Would you want to have to say that to someone? Maybe he thinks you're a nice girl and doesn't want to hurt your feelings by being so blunt. It doesn't mean its you, I'm sure you've been in situations where you've met a really nice, attractive guy but the sparks just aren't there. So don't be so hard on yourself and let this one go for what it was, a crush that ran its course. Move on. You're spending so much energy on this guy you may just miss Prince Charming when he comes walking by!
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